Every now and again, there are things that your loved ones tell you that can be hard to take, but they might be just what you need to hear. No matter their intention or how much you know they care for you, it's always hard to listen. You get indignant, you want to tell them they don't understand the situation or that they don't know you as well as they think. In those moments, it's hard to stop and think about their purpose behind telling you these things. The next time you hear any of the following statements, remember that they wouldn't say these things if they didn't care about you.
1. You're wrong.
No one likes to hear that they don't know something or that they made a mistake. While you probably wouldn't ever say, "I'm never wrong," it stings a bit more to hear someone else call you out on it. Your first instinct is often to argue, deny that you could be wrong, fight to defend yourself and ignore the possibility that they're right and you aren't. Instead of that, consider for a moment that you could be wrong, and how much it takes for them to have to courage to tell you that.
2. It's your own fault.
Ever made a mistake or gotten into a bad situation, only to try and talk yourself out of the fact that it was your own fault? Maybe you admitted that you were partly to blame, but couldn't claim all the responsibility. That's when it's hardest to hear from a good friend or family member that you're the sole person to blame for your situation. In the end, though, you can't shoot the messenger, because taking responsibility for your own actions is the only way to overcome them.
3. Be the bigger person.
Hearing that you've fallen short of the expectations of those around you is always painful. Usually when someone tells you this, that's exactly what has happened. They know you to be a stronger, upstanding, empathetic individual and are certain you can take the high road in whatever issue you're facing, and so that's what they expect from you. Unfortunately, those are the good kind of expectations to meet, no matter how hard it may seem. Instead of seeing it as how you've fallen short of what they expect from you, focus on the fact that they know you to already be the bigger person, you just have to make those choices.
4. Don't do it.
No matter what "it" may be, having someone tell you what to do or not do rubs your independent nature the wrong way. Instead of giving into your gut reaction to defy them out of sheer stubbornness, try to understand why they're telling you not to do it. Maybe they're speaking from experience or they know something you don't. Either way, if they love you and care for you, they very likely only have your best interests in mind.
5. You can do better.
As I mentioned earlier, it's difficult to hear that you haven't met the expectations of your loved ones. Whether it's about grades, work or even your latest date, being told that you could do better feels like an insult and not constructive in the slightest. What you should take away from it is not that you have failed, but that you can succeed and do better than the situation at hand.
