It’s already the middle of December and I recently just settled in back home after being away at college for my first semester as a freshman. The past 3 and a half months have flown by so quickly; I’ve met so many new people, learned so many new things, and have gotten to experience what it’s really like be on my own for the first time in my life. It has been quite the journey, and with that being said, I think it’s a good time to reflect on all I have learned in college up to this point and share some advice with it:

College isn’t like high school:

Something I learned in my first semester of college is that college is so different than anything you do in high school. While it was definitely hard at first, you need to let go of all the baggage you ended high school with and start fresh. College isn’t the time to start unnecessary drama where drama isn’t asked for. College is a place for you to go in, having the best attitude as possible, make new friends, and make the most of every experience. For me, my first few weeks of college were a complete shock. I was taken away from my closest friends and family and brought to some foreign place with not many comforting faces surrounding me. It took me a while to finally let go of the past four and officially start focusing on my next four. When I was finally able to do so, I was able to start forming healthy relationships with some of the most amazing people in my life.

The classes are not necessarily harder, but different:

For me, I came into college having already taken multiple AP classes, so I felt as if I was prepared for the level of difficulty and change that my college classes were going to bring. Honestly, my AP classes in high school were definitely more challenging. I was flooded with busy work, quizzes and tests almost every week, and a lot of intensive studying to do. When I came to college, the classes I took weren’t necessarily harder than the ones I was exposed to in high school, but they were different. The professors weren’t on top of me reminding me when deadlines were and, in most classes, I wasn’t overwhelmed with assignments that weren’t of much importance. This taught me a lot on responsibility and how to handle multiple classes at a time without having due dates thrown at me like I was previously used to.

You learn how to be independent:

While it’s the scariest, most disconcerting feeling in the world to evidently pack up everything you once knew, leave your family and friends, and go off to college alone for the first time in your life, it has most definitely taught me a lot about myself. Throughout this first semester of college, I have learned so much about independence. Before college, I wasn’t typically used to being alone. In fact, I was constantly with either my friends or family. Once I started college, I quickly learned that you mature faster than you ever did when you were still in high school. Without your mom and dad by your side to hold your hand and lead you in all the right directions, you’re faced with the task of making your own decisions and learning through everything you do. While independence was a really scary thing at first since I wasn’t particularly used to not having to report back to my parents on all that I was doing, I have learned to take it for what it is and appreciate that I am really growing up.

Loneliness is normal:

Shortly after I entered my first year of college, the inevitable feelings of loneliness shortly attacked me. I wasn’t used to sitting alone in a room and not having my parents right down the hall. I wasn’t used to not having my core group of friends around to give me a welcome ear and open heart. The bottom line is, loneliness really scared me. But, after days and weeks of not feeling myself, I searched for comfort by sharing my feelings with my closest friends. And truthfully, they already sensed I wasn’t right. It turns out, they knew what I was feeling because they also had these same feelings from time to time. While it’s difficult to succumb to weakness by sharing personal feelings of despair, doing so helps alleviate pain and bring the joy back into your life especially when you learn that you’re not alone. What I realized through this process is that loneliness is a temporary and fleeting feeling. While it is incredibly painful when it hits, it doesn’t last forever. If you’re experiencing one off day where all you want to do is crawl into a ball under the covers, invariably that feeling disappears as fast as it came. And while I have my days where I feel hopeless and better days seem far away, I know that another awesome day is just around the corner.

If you don’t have a solid friend group, you’ll find your people:

After having to separate from my group of friends after years of being together, I was incredibly scared to meet new people and make a new group of friends. What I found so difficult when I first started college was that I didn’t ever know who to hang out with and who I wanted to be friends with. There are so many different people who I began surrounding myself with that I was so confused on what I was even looking for. The bottom line is, you will not have a new best friend right away. Like all new things, everything takes time. While you may have feelings of discomfort at first, it’ll all eventually fall into place and you’ll soon become friends with the people who you were meant to be friends with. I’m so incredibly lucky that I have met and become such good friends with a group of amazing people already but, looking back on this semester, it took time for me to find people who I am comfortable with and the building of my friendships is still a work in progress. Overall, it’s really okay to not have a solidified friend group the first few weeks or even months of college. At the end of the day, you’ll end up meeting your people and your best friends.