Growing up, as a teenager, I'll admit it. I was a little shit. I was spoiled. I had an attitude problem. I think most of the reasoning behind it comes from struggling with depression and anxiety. I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone, which I know wasn't true, but I didn't know how to. I resulted to anger and I wish I hadn't. If I knew then what I know now, my life would have been completely different. If I could tell my younger self just five things, they would be:
1. It's OK not to be OK.
I was always so ashamed of admitting that I was depressed. I didn't know how to convey what I was thinking to my family. I didn't want them to think that it was something they did wrong in raising me. I felt like a contagious disease. It was like when I was miserable, I killed everyone else's mood. If I could go back now, I would tell myself that it's OK to talk about your feelings and admit when you're not OK. You don't have to live to please everyone else. Your own well-being is the most important thing.
2. The most important things in life aren't things.
I always had to have the most expensive brand-name clothing. I wanted an iPhone. Anything less than that wasn't good enough. I was so focused on the material things in life. If I could go back now, I would remind myself that material things do not matter at all compared to the relationships you form and time you spend with people that you love.
3. You don't always have to be right.
I was extremely stubborn, and I probably always will be; however, I'm working on it and that's the important part. During an argument, I always had to have the last word. I was always right, and everyone else around me was in the wrong. Now, I've learned to accept defeat and apologize when I should. I would tell my younger self that it's OK to be wrong, and admitting that you're wrong makes you a stronger, more courageous person.
4. Friends come and go, but family is forever.
Looking back now, I realize that I didn't spend enough time with my family as I should have. They always told me, go out and have fun, but I didn't have to go out every. single. weekend. Most of the time my weekends consisted of the same thing over and over again. Losing my dad has made me wish that I spent a little more time with him growing up instead of with my friends. After all, friends come and go, but family is forever. Remember this when you're making the decision between a family party and hanging out with friends.
5. Always stay humble and kind.
Tim McGraw said it best. Being humble, staying grounded, remembering what matters and what doesn't; that's the key to living a great life. Treating people with the same respect they gave me is something I took for granted. I was young, hostile, selfish, and ignorant to what truly mattered in life.
I know I'll receive comments from family members on this article. They'll probably say, "it's stupid to think about what could've been" or "you were just being a teenager, you didn't know any better". I didn't write this for that purpose. I didn't write it while wallowing in self-pity. I didn't write it looking for someone to tell me I wasn't wrong. I wrote this so that anyone who comes across it has the chance to look at these 5 things and truly let them sink in. Think of the five things that I've learned in 4-5 short years. Ask yourself, "Am I living with these 5 things in mind, right now?", and if you're not, I strongly consider that you start.
