5 Things I Don't Blame Him For Not Understanding

There are few things more amusing in life than marriage, especially a young one. Together we attempt to navigate the mountains and gullies that adult life throws our way. It's a time of affection, fights, understanding and complete restructuring. If I've learned anything as a young wife it's that no person knows me better than my husband. Except sometimes he doesn't. It's hilarious. He understands the deepest mechanization of my mind's eye and works proactively to bring out the best in me. But sometimes he'll look at me and I know what's going through his mind, "What just happened?" Following is a list of things that I can't blame him for not understanding about me. I mean, for Pete's sake, I barely understand myself sometimes.

My aversion to sweets.

Who doesn't love chocolate?


I am the poster child for chocolate-loving, which my husband knows. He knows about my sweet tooth and, every once in a while, will bring home some special goodies just for me. We're talking chocolate covered raisins, toffee, truffles..pretty much anything with chocolate is fair game. But, being the woman I am, I had to throw him a curve ball. He'd gone to the local candy store and gotten me some bonbons and other similar goodies. He joyfully explained what he got me and watched, quite confusedly, as I gave the goodies an anxious side-eye. After several excruciating minutes of me attempting to avoid the conversation, I finally let him know that I appreciated his chocolate-covered affection but I really needed to work on losing weight. I think he understood quite well until I brought home a dozen chocolate-covered donuts several days later..yeah I can't explain that either. I'm a bit crazy.

My inability to "go with the flow."

It's a skill I tell you!


So this one depends. If we're talking something along the lines of going to Subway rather than Chile's, yeah I can work with that. But if big reservations, plans, trips, etc experience hiccups, my inner need to control and fix comes out like an anal forest pixie. I can't say that's always a bad quality but, boy, is it one my husband had to learn to deal with. He's much more laid back than I am and he goes with whatever I want, so long as I don't let "the crazy" take hold of me. I regularly surprise him with what I'm willing to go along with and what I'm not. I'm kind of like Pandora's Box, you never know what's going to pop out!

My constant need to clean.

Even home plate isn't safe from my compulsive cleaning.


In short, I have a Type A personality and my husband has a Type B personality. Those facts alone make for a comical combination when it comes to housework. I constantly tidy, arrange, affix, straighten, etc whilst my husband is more of a "do it all in one go" kind of person. I love the look on his face when I come home from a long day at work, of which I made sure he knew about beforehand, and I promptly head to the sink to do dishes or clean off the table. I can see where, in his mind, it doesn't make sense. I'm tired. Act like it! I'd rather be the mysterious, complicated person I am.

My adoration of my dog.

Because who doesn't love Golden Retrievers?


Don't get me wrong, my husband loves his childhood pet just as I love mine but I take my own adoration to a different level of crazy. It truly came to my attention when we were staying at my parents' house whilst they were gone to care for my dog. We were getting ready for bed and I was loving on the dog, you know, baby-talk, ear-scratches, whatever you want to call it. After making sure she'd had her fill of love, I turned over and gave my husband a kiss goodnight. Now, do I love my dog more than my husband, uh, no. I did have to take a step back and evaluate the treatment of my husband, however. I will always love my pooch but I will always love my husband a thousand times more, obviously.

My inability to choose a restaurant.

You knew this was coming.


You know the conversation. He asks where I want to go. I say I don't care. He offers a restaurant. I say uh-uh. I'll be the first to admit that women are crazy in this way. We want to give our men the illusion of control by offering the power to them but, should they choose wrong, we wreck the illusion completely. I can't help but feel guilty about this. Deep down, I know what I want but I won't voice it. Thankfully, I've started voicing my desires in more relevant areas of marriage i.e. purchasing a home, career choices, etc but I still leave him in the open with simple decisions. I can't blame him for getting exasperated. Women can be difficult but would you love us any other way?

Men and women have to walk a fine line between understanding and frustration. We give and take because that's what marriage charges of us. I'm thankful to say my husband agrees to love what he doesn't understand about me. I can say the same and I pray that every young couple is able to attain similar tenderness and love. It's worth the frustration.

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