5 Steps To Follow After Being A Jerk
Start writing a post

5 Steps To Follow After Being A Jerk

We don't always have to argue.

5 Steps To Follow After Being A Jerk
Taken form flicker: Vic
What do you do when the silence is your fault?

Have you ever been talking to your best friend, your significant other, your parents, and all of a sudden you realize that something went wrong? One minute you were lost expressing your opinions, and the next minute everything is quiet. After a minute of silence, which feels like not only an eternity, but an eternity of a spider staring at you five feet away with no way to kill that damn thing (a.k.a hell), you realize that you might have said something to piss the other person off. After asking the classic "What's wrong?" question that only exacerbates the situation, your friend replies "nothing." The truth: YOU WERE A JERK!

Sure, you didn't realize that telling your best friend how every single song that they love is terrible music. You also didn't realize that this isn't the first time that you have critiqued their music when all that they were trying to do was share a part of their life with you. So what happens next? You are both upset: Worse is that they have the right to be upset, making you feel like crap. But what always happens: YOU MAKE IT WORSE!

REAL QUICK: Here are Five Common Ways To Make It Worse:

1. Pretend like they shouldn't be upset because they are being too "sensitive."

2. Or, they shouldn't be upset because you weren't being "serious."

3. Ask them a hundred times "Why are you so upset?" when you know they are upset because of you!

4. Start talking about how upset you are because they are upset. (This is incredibly worse if you are fighting with your significant other. No! She does not want you to be upset about her being upset because why should she feel bad for you when you made her feel bad!) If you are upset... write a blog!

5. Avoid the problem. You don't have to address the problem right away, but you should consider strategies that will both show that you are sorry for your actions and that will prevent the problem in the future: Follow the next five tips!

1. Acknowledge that you were a jerk.

Okay, you screwed up. For some reason, we humans have a terrible issue with just admitting it. We have some attitude like "Oh well, if I was a jerk, then I need to pretend like a wasn't being a jerk or avoid it because, well... I AM STUBBORN!" Just admit to your friend that you are sorry that you are being so critical of the music that they love. Simply say, "Wow, I really am not being a good friend right now. I am sorry, I really shouldn't act like such a jerk." Mean it, but don't keep going on about it: keep it simple.

2. Give them space (if that is what they want).

If your friend is heated and just wants to walk away, let them. Just pause them for a brief second. Say something like, "Hey, I just want you to know, I've been a jerk. I'm really sorry." They may still be pissed, but that is perfectly fine. They deserve to separate themselves from the situation, especially if being with you is just making things worse. Most of all, let them leave, hang-up or end the situation. You screwed up, you don't get the right to leave them hanging (that is manipulative).

3. Prepare a follow-up apology.

Sure, you let them know that you are sorry, but what does your friend really want? It is likely that they want to be able to share their love for music with you, and they want to feel safe to do so without being attacked. Spend some time thinking about how you acted; come up with a good way to express to them both why you are sorry and how you are going to avoid being a jerk next time. For example, "Hey, I am really sorry about being a jerk back there. I actually feel fortunate to have such a great friend who shares his music with me. Next time, I will focus more on listening to what you have to say rather than acting like an arrogant know-it-all!"

4. Apologize to yourself.

Hurting your friend doesn't just affect them, it affects you and your relationship. While you deserve to feel negative, you don't deserve to repeat the actions that made you feel that way. Spend a bit of time with yourself and promise yourself that you will work on being a better friend. I promise, this will benefit you in every relationship you will ever have.

5. Practice Practice Practice!

The truth: You will likely be a jerk many times in you life. We all screw up, and we all act in ways outside of who we really want to be, especially to our friends and family because we see them a lot. So instead of sulking about how you often "ruin the moment," make a goal to improve. Every time you act like a jerk, you get the opportunity to respond to the situation with these steps. And if you continue to do so, your relationships will likely improve, and you, your friends, your family and everyone you meet will be much happier!

I hope that this helps many of us better our relationships and connections. Also, if you have an awesome story about a time where you were being a jerk, feel free to share it in the comment section!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments