When I was first called a T-loc, I had absolutely no idea how to respond...let alone even know what it meant! Were they giving me a compliment or throwing me under the bus? It took me a bit to put together the abbreviation for Tucson Local, "T-Loc," and realize I wasn’t being called anything bad, but it was odd to say the least.
After adjusting to my new found "nationality" of being a T-Loc, I realized what it fully meant to be one of these unique individuals; I’ve learned a lot about myself and my town. Being a T-Loc isn’t easy and there definitely are a lot of thing you’ll have to acclimate to if you wanna live up to the standard of being a real T-Loc.
1. You are now one with the heat. First thing about being a T-Loc is you have to be more comfortable with your perspiration than ever before. Tucson is one of maybe 5 places on Earth where you can actually go outside for a hour and come back more fire baked than anything you’ve ever eaten at KFC. Being a T-Loc means that this heat doesn’t faze you and worse, you might even began to like it!
2. 60 degree weather means it’s time to bundle up. Along with your new adaption to the extreme summer heat of Tucson also comes with a horrible intolerance to the cold. Whether it’s sunny or cloudy out, the moment it hits 60 degrees in Tucson you can pick apart all the T-Locs by the ones who are wearing their parkas. Every year around October, you’ll begin to shiver in the cool morning and then before you know it, you’re having to wear three pairs of socks to bed just to make it through the night.
3. Eegee’s is amazing and when it comes to Watermelon Flavor, it’s a religion. There are two types of T-Locs in this world: those who love Eegees and would die for watermelon "flavor of the month eegees," and those T-Locs that are shunned from the rest of the Dirty T. Fact is, T-Locs love Eegee’s, and it could almost pass as a religion here. Any T-Loc you talk to can tell you how much they went to eat there as a kid and how they all got the HUGE Eegee party packs for class parties.
4. The Dirty T is becoming normal... Whether you don’t notice when Brother Dean shouts “you’re all sl*ts” on the mall or walking down 4th Ave, you know you're well on your way to becoming a T-loc. In Tucson, there’s always some weird or random act happening; it could be some dude walking down Speedway Blvd in a fur coat when it’s a 104 outside, or some car that has Christmas lights strung around it in the middle of July. Whatever it is, it doesn’t make you even blink an eye and that’s the second to last sign you’ve become a T-Loc.
5. You forget why driving in Tucson is so bad. Lastly, the one true definition of a T-Loc is this: you have accepted that Tucson roads will never be repaired and will crumble until there are just dirt roads left. Fact is, you’ll find some of the worst and most horrible roads in Tucson: mixed with potholes, bumps and cracks, there's always a mix of dirt and rocks all over the road. Can you guess why? That’s right, Tucson thought drainage systems were too lame for this town! As a T-loc you’ll just eventually learn to either accept this horrible truth or just refuse to drive.
Being a T-Loc is a lot like being a D list celebrity without the fame and cash. You may live in an amazing place with one of the sickest and best schools in the nation, but lets be honest, it’s still kind of a dump. There’s also a ton of baggage that comes with the job, like the heat and weirdness of Tucson. When people find out you’re a T-loc they’re interested but also kind of want to leave at the same time, much like with D list celebrities. The bottom line is that as a T-Loc, you may have to put up with some stuff that everyone else notices. But at the end of the day, you know you’ll survive in this town so much better than all those Cali kids. Suckers.
