Ever had that one person you have felt you have poured your heart and soul into - and yet you felt like you never got anything in return? Yeah - been there done that - and more than once.
I got to the point where I was tired of thinking of other people before I was even thinking of myself. This year, I decided to change that, so here's some clues that you might just be in a toxic friendship/relationship.
1. You are ALWAYS the one trying to make the plans.
Now I know some people are leaders, and some people are followers - but I was always the one reaching out wanting to do something, and often times I had found myself being blown off, or just being ignored until the other person needed something.
2. You feel like you can't be yourself.
I know this one might seem obvious, but it wasn't for me. I started conforming - watching what I would say and when I would say it in fear of being judged. Heck, sometimes I even found myself trying to dress like the person just to feel more secure in myself.
3. They've broken your trust before.
Also - should be another obvious one, right? So many times I found myself "forgiving and forgetting", but that doesn't work forever. Sure, you can forgive someone, but that doesn't mean you will ever forget what they did. Every time this has happened to me, I've never found myself able to fully trust that person again - and yet I let them in. No friendship/relationship can exist without trust - period.
4. You never get to talk about yourself in conversation.
No matter how hard to try to get a word in, somehow, the conversation always turns back to them. So many times I have found myself trying to confide in someone or share something that happened about my day and you get the classic: "Oh, that sucks.", or how about the "Yeah, I know, my so and so and blah blah blah..." Get the picture?
5. They only want to be in your life when it's convenient for them.
I feel like this is the biggest problem I've noticed in some of my past friendships. Granted, we're all get busy and life gets in the way, but if a friendship means something to you - you're going to find the motivation to put time into it. I can't tell you how many times I have gone out of my way for people, and in reality, I was just setting myself up for disappointment. Letting people come and knock at my door whenever they wanted just started to lead to a lot of hurt, and eventually, I called it quits.
It's OK to walk away - it might be the solution that lifts the weight off your shoulders.
