Alright, guys, we all know that tattoos are a controversial topic, especially when it comes to the workplace. While there are many different arguments for and against tattoos, it is obvious that having tattoos, even a little infinity loop on your left ankle, will make you utterly incapable of doing your job. So, if you rebelliously got a tattoo at 18--forget about your future.
Your Degree Doesn't Matter
I mean, come on. We all know that the second that needle and ink touch your skin, your college degree immediately becomes void. Having a tattoo makes it so your $100,000 in student loans on your undergraduate degree alone are utterly useless. With a tattoo, everything you learned in college or grad school will fly right out the window.
You've Obviously Been in a Prison Gang
That's right, we all know that you got that little heart behind your ear when you were behind bars. Tattoos are not a form of art or self-expression or remembrance or love--they are only in reference to violence and gangs and prison. How stupid are we to think that a little tattoo could be something harmless? Seriously, people, how dull do you think society is? We all know only inmates can have tattoos!
Your Position is Irrelevant
Once you get a tattoo, all of your experience is definitely nullified. All of those years working in labs at your university, the summer jobs, internships, and countless hours you put in trying to gain experience and work skills, all of it becomes meaningless the instant you get your tattoo. If you went to med school and passed your exams but have a tattoo, there's no way in hell you are still qualified to be a doctor! And don't even pretend that law school and passing the bar is enough to make up for that little tattoo you got for your grandpa who passed away when you were a kid.
You've Got to be a Terrible Person
What kind of kind and sensible human being would purposefully taint their skin with a tattoo? Every person who has a tattoo is up to no good and is certainly a bad seed. Only criminals or delinquents can have tattoos. It wouldn't make sense for anyone else to have one! Tattoos are most certainly harborers of evil and bad luck.
Everyone Has the Right To Assume You Are Unqualified
Having a tattoo automatically gives all of the world the right to judge and doubt you. If you have a tattoo, it is totally okay if people talk about you, make fun of you, call you names, mistrust you, and call you out. You are asking for it if you have a tattoo! It is definitely tattooed people who need to be taught and called out, not the people being mean to them; I mean, how ridiculous would that be!
So, there you have it. There are five perfectly reasonable and acceptable reasons why having a tattoo automatically makes you unprofessional and unable to perform your job. It does not matter if you are at the top of your field if you make the mistake of getting a tattoo, because the moment you do, you are unable to do what you did yesterday. People have no way of trusting you once you've gotten a tattoo. I mean, are you really even you anymore? It's crazy to think that in a world like ours, people could ever really think that having a little art on your skin is acceptable. Not only are tattoos disgusting and tasteless, but they are plain disrespectful and dishonorable to everyone around you. If you are thinking about making the horrible decision to get a tattoo, I urge you to reconsider and try a more socially acceptable practice such as drug use or petty theft. Make good choices, friends, and do not get a tattoo.
