Thanksgiving is next week! You know what that means: it is officially holiday season. This is my very favorite season, because I am a huge sucker for the joyful festivities that go along with America’s massively consumerist Christmas season.
Being single often feels pretty sucky, especially in the context of our culture that so emphasizes the need for a relationship.
I most certainly get quickly exhausted of this question:
“So, do you have a boyfriend?”
My over rehearsed reply is memorized now; “No, I do not have a boyfriend. I do not want a boyfriend.”
In the spirit of optimism, following is a refreshing perspective concerning the often forgotten benefits of spending this holiday season single and alone!
1. You don’t have to share food with anyone and/or You can eat as much as you want!
Without a significant other to pay attention to at dinner, just imagine all the wondrous holiday food that you can eat! Also, bypass that cringe-worthy cliché moment of eating off each other’s forks or something, like a scene right out of Lady and the Tramp. Let’s be honest – this is really inconvenient in actually enjoying your food. Additionally, go ahead and eat whatever you want, and eat as much of it as you like. You deserve it. Who are you trying to impress? Regardless, anyone who will date you and judge you by what you eat is not a person you need to date! you don’t need that. Just sit back and love your food. Food is good. Food will never leave you.
2. You have less presents to Buy!
Think about all that money you can save by not buying presents for your partner! Use all that extra money to buy yourself more food, or buy yourself the kind of gift that that you wish someone would buy you – no one can know you quite like yourself! Seriously feel free to take some time to just be in a relationship with yourself this season. Also, revel in the amount of time you’ll save by avoiding that trip to the mall in which you agonize over the implications of every possible gift and anticipate the inevitable failure of your quest to find the unattainable “perfect” gift.
3. Avoid the Politics of Texting!
Warning: this may come across as me being super old-fashioned and complaining about “the good ol’ days.”
I can’t tell you how distressing texting is in this age of modern dating: “What does ‘fine’ mean?” “which emoji evokes the right amount of flirtation without coming on too strong?” “How many ‘lol’s can I use in one sentence without sounding crazy?”
Trying to impress someone through our fancy-dandy new iPhone is really difficult. No thought is required to text mom and dad or my roommate, but words are so subjective and carry so many different implications, that texting makes romance so much harder.
When you’re single, enjoy the abundance of extra room in your brain that is not taken up by questioning every word you send!
4. There’s one more reason to feel un-obligated to shave!
It’s getting cold outside, which begs the constant wearing of pants. Also, shaving is a constructed cultural norm. Why not add one more reason to the list of why not to slowly kill your time through the torturous ritual of hair removal? It’s obviously and overwhelmingly time consuming, and it’s far too stressful to be worth it, at least in my humble opinion. Luckily, when it’s just me, myself, and I, sans significant other, it’s easy to take a pass on this annoying ritual.
5. More time for You!
Again, this may sound a little cliché, but being single is a great opportunity quality “me-time.” Thrive in your independence, fall in love with yourself, and sort through your own difficulties without the added stress of a significant other.
On a related note, here are some photos of the poetry by Rupi Kaur, out of her book “milk and honey.”
If you feeling pathetically single, or feeling really any emotion at all regardless, I believe this book is a brilliant and therapeutic choice as your next read.
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays, may all of your seasons be abundant with self-love.
