For some odd reason, the world frowns upon women drinking before 5 p.m.
It also frowns upon women getting drunk and wasted on weekdays, some even on weekends. Well screw that. If I wanna have a beer at noon with my lunch, you're God damn right I'm gonna have one. And if you're going to shoot me dirty looks from across the room, you might as well watch me chug it. And when you work a job that requires you to put in over 60 hours a week (yes 60) your can bet your ass I'm gonna drink before 5 p.m. on my days off.
But also, we do have good qualities too:
1. She really doesn't care what others think about her.
As stated above if you wanna give me dirty looks while I drink my noon beverage I'll just assume you have no balls and you can watch me as I chug this Coors Light and order another one. We all have those days were enough is enough and since I don't do drugs or smoke drinking one or two on days off at lunch are my escapes. She knows who she is and what she can overcome your opinions on her life mean nothing to her. She's brave, fearless and strong.
2. She's a hard worker.
There is nothing like working a full-time job, going to college full-time and trying to raise a baby on your own that will put you over the edge. But I know this is what I have to do to better myself for me and my family and my future, I will stop at nothing to fulfill my dreams and there is nothing you can do to stop me. There's nothing like working a double shift then turning around and working another one the next day. At the same time when she has days off she's teaching her daughter all she needs to know about life and raising her right. Whether it's coloring in the living room, watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on replay or taking her down the road so that she can see the neighbors cows.
3. She appreciates her alcohol.
Your damn right. I'll pop a cold one with you anytime anywhere. She'll drink until her heart is content, I'm gonna need another beer to wash down this beer.
4. She knows life is rough; so you gotta be tough.
Life has probably knocked her on her ass more than once and each time a little harder than the last, but that doesn't stop her from getting back up, dusting herself off, flipping life the bird and saying better luck next time. She's not proud of the things she did wrong but she wouldn't go back and change them if she could. Those moments taught her valuable life lessons. Like God does give second chances, but you better make it right, and if you wanna drink in the shower pick Boone's Farm.
5. She's a good time.
Wednesdays are her favorite, hello beer and wings!
There's nothing she likes better then going out and having a good time with her girls. We don't have to always drink either (but it helps lol) just getting away and driving around to talk about the old days or how much weight so and so has gained and how bad someone else's relationship is is enough for her. She'll make you laugh so hard you'll pee your pants and at the same time she'll make her self laugh. She loves laughing.
So here's to the girls who drink before 5 p.m.: we know who we are and we know what we can do. We might even buy you a drink to turn that frown upside down.
Bottoms up.
