To some people, I started dance "late," and that was at the age of seven. My reason for beginning in dance was this: I was in a scholarship program which had optional talent. When I was seven, I sang for my talent. It was my first year in the program, and a dancer won talent. She was beautiful, and I wanted to be her. I enrolled in a few dance classes, and the rest is history. I fell in love with it. I began spending days and nights at the studio and became decent at this art form. Things began changing for the worst within the dance studio I was a part of. I was a healthy competitor and loved going to class, but near the end, I was not enjoying myself. I dreaded going. So I left the studio. People were mean to me and didn't understand why I did what I did, but there was no need to explain myself. I continued my training at Troy with a "junior program." It was just another high school friend and me in the program, but we got to look up to older dancers for a change. We were the "older girls" at our old studio. I began to feel uncomfortable at times; I just didn't really fit in. My senior year, I decided to really focus on myself and school. I put dance on the back burner, and sometimes, I wonder where I would be if I was still dancing today.
Here's five reasons I miss dancing:
1. It was something I knew I was good at.
(Meet 8 year old Caylee in her favorite tap shoes) ^^^
I'm good at talking. I'm good at doing makeup. I'm good at riding a bicycle. I know I am good at those things, but none of those are my thing. Dance was my thing. It was the one thing I could pull out of my back pocket at any time. I was trained, and I was good.
2. I had a steady group of friends.
Not pictured: Caitlin Hicks, Caitie & Mary Lacy Lusk. (The man and woman are guest teachers.)
No matter what happened during my day or over the weekend, my dance friends were always there, everyday. Sure, we fought like cats and dogs, but we were all there for each other. There was your childish arguing and backstabbing, but at the end of the day, we were a team. Win together, lose together, sweat together, cry together, dance together. I'm still close with some friends from my dance days, and no relationship will ever measure up to the ones I made with two certain girls who have always stuck by my side. We may not talk 24/7, but no one will ever fully know me the way they do.
3. Always being flexible and in shape.
(Not me, but wish it was)
No matter what, we were always in shape. We worked so hard in class and did those sit-ups until we couldn't anymore. My stamina was built up, and I was as limber as a rubber band. Try to pull my leg behind my head now, and you will be calling an ambulance.
4. Travelling.
We were always traveling somewhere for dance. If it wasn't competition, it was convention; if it wasn't costumes, it was pictures. We saw new places and revisited old ones. I love traveling, and I love dance, so putting the two together for me was a little slice of heaven.
5. THE STAGE.
The stage was and always will be like a second home to me. When I was up there, I felt like no one could stop me. I was invincible. Sure, I wasn't the best, but in that two minutes and thirty seconds in which I performed my solo, I acted like I was. I had the humble confidence I wish I had today. If I could take half the confidence I have on stage and put it in me for everyday life, I would be set. Being on stage is a feeling like no other. When I was constantly dancing, I was always on the stage. Now, I rarely step foot on one.
Quitting dance was a major decision for my life. In fact, it was one of the biggest decisions I've ever made. I still dance from time to time, but I will never be the dancer I once was. It almost brings me to tears even typing about it, but maybe this will remind someone who is thinking of giving up dance of how great it actually is. Cherish it. It's a way of life. It is hard for me to talk about. I can't even watch the dancers at Troy because I know I will cry and want to go back. I dance occasionally and use it for a "talent" when I need one, but it isn't the same. Watching one of my close dance friends grow from a young 8-year-old dancer into the beautiful collegiate dancer she is today warms my heart. She is very talented, and watching her makes me miss the duos we would perform. We were almost like a power couple!
I teach dance, but it isn't the same as being out there dancing yourself. Don't give up something you love. You will miss it. I promise.
To see me dance in my last ever group performance with TDRE, click the link below. I was the lead and I loved it. Choreography by the amazing Caitlin Parish, performed by Troy Dance Repertory Ensemble at Troy University 2012 (I was 16).
