Everyone says that all dads have the same jokes, affectionately dubbed "dad jokes." On the other hand, all mothers have the same lines they use on their kids. Surprisingly enough, these sayings have rubbed off on all of us as we've grown up and now we even use them in conversation with our friends, kids we babysit, and so on.
1. "We have food at home."
As a child, hearing this was literally the worst thing ever. You just wanted McDonald's, but Mom insisted you had food in the fridge at home. When you finally got home, and checked the fridge, there was no McDonald's. Therefore, she was lying and you ran off to go cry in a corner somewhere.
Now, you will gladly pass up that McDonald's trip, seeing as you have maybe $10 to your name. You'll find something in the fridge. It may not be that nutritious, but it is free. And as I always like to say, "If it's free it's for me."
2. "Text me when you get home/there."
When you first started driving, or your friends did, your mom was always being a helicopter parent. She'd ask you to let her know when you made it to your destination safely. At the time it seemed like a nuisance. Why would you want to text your mom when you were out with your friends?
Now, every time a friend leaves you to go home you make sure they text you once they get in. If they don't, you become a helicopter parent, "You home yet?" and when they answer that they are you jokingly yell at them for forgetting to text you.
3. "If ____ jumped off a bridge, would you?"
A personal favorite among mothers everywhere that drives their kids crazy. Of course you wouldn't jump off a bridge, but you still want to get your ears pierced just like your BFF Jill. Twinsies!
I find myself saying this to my siblings and my friends. Sometimes you have to use this one to remind your friends that they are their own person. They don't need to do everything that everyone else is doing.
4. "Is your homework finished?"
Hearing this was indication that your mom already knew your homework wasn't done. She was just testing you to see if you'd lie or not. It also meant that she wasn't going to let you do what you wanted to do.
Now you probably use this saying when all your friends are getting ready to go out and you know that one of them has an essay due at midnight that they have barely touched. You probably use this one if you're the mom of the group.
5. "Because I said so."
Another horrible thing to hear as a kid. That's not a reason! You have to have an actual reason for not letting me climb the tree/eat cupcakes for breakfast/have a second dessert!
It doesn't matter whether you use this one with boys, who just can't take no as an answer, or kids you babysit, both ways it will feel just as powerful. You don't need to provide a reason for your decision. Why? Because I said so.
