5 Movies That Are Perfect For 'Netflix & Chill'
Start writing a post

5 Movies That Are Perfect For 'Netflix & Chill'

You know what I mean.

5 Movies That Are Perfect For 'Netflix & Chill'

Hey, do you guys know about sex? What about memes? If you’re reading this, you’re probably one of those damn Millennials, which means the ONLY things you know about are sex and memes. In that case, read a damn book instead of another stupid clickbait article. (But finish this one first.)

But if you don’t know about Netflix & chill, then strap yourself in for some learning, but not too much, because this isn’t really that complicated. Netflix & chill is essentially what you suggest to whatever kind of boo you may have when you have ulterior motives to hanging out with them. Like, you know. Those kind of motives.

A rough translation would be:

“You wanna come over for Netflix & chill?”

“You wanna come over and rub our bodies together while something we aren’t looking at plays uselessly into the void above our writhing bodies? I was raised with constant stimulation so I’m extremely uncomfortable doing anything in silence, so even while we are exploring the beautiful gardens of each other’s bodies, I need to hear disembodied voices from the television or I will freak.

Which is all well and good, except—what qualifies a movie as suitable for Netflix & chill? As much as you want to prove to your boo that you’re a connoisseur of film, it can’t be something you actually want to see, because you won’t really be… seeing it.

The key to a good Netflix & chill movie is something that has a strong opening that you can both pretend to pay rapt attention to, and then a break in the action where you or your partner can make some kind of move to signal that yes, this is the “chill” part. A really good Netflix & chill movie will have quite a few scenes of sexual content interspersed within that can heighten the mood without either of you having to pay any real attention to the nuances of the plot.

A prime Netflix & chill experience will have a great ending—mutual satisfaction from you and your partner paired with a movie with an engaging or mildly interesting ending that you can both watch while you slowly stop panting and sweating, even though neither of you know what happened in the rest of the movie. Frankly, who cares. You just got laid/almost laid/whatever it is you do. Nice.

Anyway, here’s a list of good movies for Netflix & chill.

1) National Treasure

This is literally the most beautiful movie that has ever graced this scorched and sinful earth. I’m not fucking kidding. It is perfect in every way—the beginning will pull you in, the rising action will get your heart pumping, and you can bask in the afterglow of the “chill” part of your Netflix & chill night and see Nicolas Cage find the treasure. It brings tears to my eyes every time. It’s got action, heart, educational history, comic relief, action scenes, and Angelina Jolie’s dad. The only danger of this is that you might become TOO engrossed in the wonderful world of National Treasure to pull away and engage in any human contact.

2) Cyberbully

Remember that kid from The Sixth Sense? He has a sister who hung out with Miley Cyrus a long time ago, and she was in this movie. That’s the most interesting part of the whole thing. It’s genuinely terrible. The contrived plot only loosely based around how actual teens actually interact in real life and on the Internet. This one is good for Netflix & chill because it’s scientifically proven that laughter leads to sexy time, especially when the alternative is just watching this godawful movie.

3) From Dusk Till Dawn

BRUUUH—sexy vampires, dirt, early Quentin Tarantino, and the sexiest thing Salma Hayek has ever done all in one. You’ll want to hold off on initiation making a move on your beloved until after Salma’s table scene, and then you’ll want to move pretty quickly because the rest of it is pretty much nonstop gore and cool one liners. Unless you’re the type of people who dig that stuff, in which case, Hell Yeah.

4) Scream

The best part of engaging in sexual activity to Scream is that Skeet Ulrich is fine as hell. The second best part is that Rose McGowan is fine as hell. The third best part is that this movie explicitly lays down the rules of horror films and then breaks them. Watch Drew Barrymore flail about in the cold open and then let the hip and cool late 90s soundtrack wash over you while you… you know.

5) Teeth

I’m just kidding. Please do not ever try to watch this movie and get down at the same time. It’s in bad taste. If you’ve never heard of this one...

Teeth. There are teeth in her vagina and they bite down on phalluses she doesn’t like. It rules.

Happy sexing!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments