Unless you have been under a rock for the past couple of months, with no access to the outside world, chances are you have heard more than a few controversial statements by presidential hopeful and business tycoon, Donald Trump. From his comments on immigration, to President Obama, and much, much more, many of us have sat at home in dumb awe at our various screens of choice, wondering, “is this guy for real?” Well, my dear friends, I have come as the bearer of bad news to tell you that yes, Trump actually has said (and believes) the headlines that have been attributed to him in recent weeks. As scary as it is to think that the Republican presidential candidate that is at the top of the polls is a man who has been openly racist and sexist on multiple occasions, some of the things he has said are so insane that they are almost comical. So, in order to try and make light of the grim fact that the majority of conservative America agrees with Trump, I figured I would compile a well-humored list of a very, very, very small selection of the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) things that Trump has said (so far).

1.
"I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks."
Wait… What? Even just reading these sentences makes me cringe. The thoughts and feelings that this quote evokes in me seem to border on an understanding that Trump fails to see himself as equal to African-Americans, but rather as part of a separate group. It is almost dehumanizing, in my opinion. Regardless of what he said or how he said it, it is clear that Trump does not genuinely have the relationship he claims to with black America. Perhaps when he said the word “always,” he failed to recall the controversy surrounding a quote of his from a book by John O’Donnell in 1991, “Trumped,” in which he said, “laziness is a trait in blacks,” followed by “black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.” Not only is this quote racist, but also anti-semitic. But yeah, I bet people from both of the groups he has blatantly disrespected are the ones supporting him in the polls.

2.

“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me—consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

Remember that God-awful show that has run for a few seasons too long, where Trump would torture and tease young business people with the idea of working under him if they were able to avoid the ultimate power trip he received from telling them, “you’re fired?” Well, apparently, in Trump’s eyes, every woman on that show flirted with him. ‘Cause, I mean, who could resist that handsome, hay-colored combover? Seriously though, not only is this degrading to the hard work of the various women that graced his office during the years of “The Apprentice,” it is utterly unacceptable and creepy. To suggest that women pursuing a career under him were “unconciously” attracted to him is to suggest that women are not as capable of developing and maintaining professional work relationships. In reality, 1 in 4 women report sexual harassment in the workplace, and women are often threatened and intimidated by their male higher-ups while trying to find the corporate ladder. I find it highly unlikely that every woman that ever appeared on his show was smitten with him and not the other way around. If that isn’t enough to convince you that Trump is really just a sexist pig, consider what he said of Fox News’ Megyn Kelly, when she confronted him about his sexist comments: "You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes," He said during an interview on CNN with Don Lemon. "Blood coming out of her wherever." ...Seriously? Suggesting that a woman is menstruating simply because her interview intimidated you is even low for you, Mr. Trump!

3.

“Sadly, because President Obama has done such a poor job as president, you won’t see another black president for generations.”
Last year, Trump tweeted this infamous line, claiming that because Obama did such a “poor job” (LOL okay) as president, the American people would likely not trust another African American to run the country again for years. Once again, this quote is plainly racist in multiple ways. First off, Trump is lumping in the entire African-American community together as being represented by one person, one mindset, one set of views, instead of recognizing African-Americans as individual people. Second, he assumes that if people do not approve of Obama, they will hesitate to vote for another black president --- Logic based on zero reason considering most American’s did not approve of George W. Bush’s presidency, and he was a white male just like Trump. Maybe he is actually just foreshadowing his own loss?

4.
“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”

Ah, the most infamous quote to date. As a young, Latina woman in America, you can only imagine the fury I felt when I was first informed of Trump’s take on the hardworking Latinx people that sacrifice so much to make a better life for themselves in this country. Once again, it seems Trump has suffered from another temporary amnesia, forgetting the very real Latinx workers that are on his payroll, that allow his companies to function as efficiently as they do. Trump undoubtedly owes much of his success to the migrant workers that take care of the behind-the-scenes in the Trump Tower. He later on claimed that he actually has the majority of the Latinx vote in America right now, a statement I truly doubt the legitimacy of. Cuidado de lo que dice, Senor Trump!

5.

“Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure,it's not your fault.”
Sadly, this is not a joke. Trump really did tweet this in May of 2013. I don’t think I can do this anymore, especially considering my IQ apparently isn’t as high as Donald Trump’s. I guess my Hispanic lady brain just can’t handle his level of intelligence!