40 Times Midwesterners Say 'Ope'

40 Times Midwesterners Say 'Ope'

Because we all say it.
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It's not a term that is known to be said, not something you can find in the dictionary, but you can find yourself saying in in any of the below case, and once you realize you do it, you just can't stop:

1. When bumping into someone

"Ope, sorry."

2. When dropping something

"Ope, I should pick that up."

3. When spilling their beer

"Ope, I seem to have spilled my beer."

4. When Wisconsinites cut the cheese unevenly

"Ope, my cheese is messed up."

5. When they accidentally sit on the remote and change the channel

"Ope, did my butt just do that?"

6. When pushing a door that is a pull

"Ope, it's a pull."

7. When they accidentally get a diet coke instead of regular

"Ope, this is diet, I asked for regular."

8. When they walk outside and it's a little more chilly than they thought

"Ope, I should have worn my warmer jacket."

9. When someone else is about to talk right at the same time they are

"Ope, sorry you go."

10. When the power goes out

"Ope, now it's dark."

11. When someone cuts them off while walking

"Ope, that was rude."

12. When they're in a stall with no toilet paper

"Ope, this is awkward."

13. When the Starbucks calls your name incorrectly

"Ope, it's actually Sierra, not Sienna."

14. When someone says they don't like people who do something that you lowkey do

"Ope, I actually do that."

15. When they skip a step while going up the stairs

"Ope, skipped a step."

16. When someone calls the wrong number

"Ope, I think you have the wrong number."

17. When they feel the first rain drop

"Ope, it seems to be raining."

18. When they drink coffee right after it finishes brewing and burn their tongue

"Ope, well I just burnt my tongue."

19. When they slip a little bit on ice

"Ope, I just slipped on ice."

20. When they slide their card at the checkout before realizing there is a chip reader

"Ope, you have a chip reader."

21. When they knock to see if anyone is in the bathroom and there is

"Ope, someone's in there."

22. When they go to order food and someone else start's ordering at the same time

"Ope, go ahead."

23. When they mispronounce something and someone corrects them

"Ope, you know what I meant."

24. When they accidentally put the milk in the cubboard instead of the fridge

"Ope, milk doesn't go in here."

25. When shopping and a mom tell their daughter a shirt would look cute on her but the daughter already has the shirt

"Ope, my bad."

26. When sliding though the aisles of the movie theater and they accidently touch someone sitting down

"Ope, my bad."

27. When someone hands them their change back at the register and they drop it

"Ope, my bad I'm so clumsy."

28. When they pull the blanket over them but it bunches up and doesn't cover their feet

"Ope, I missed my toes."

29. When they walk out of the bathroom and theres toilet paper on thier foot

"Ope, how did that get there."

30. When parents are walking a movie with their kids and an inappropriate scene comes on

"Ope, I didn't know this scene was in here."

31. When their phone dies after they have been avoiding getting up to get a charger

"Ope, I should probably get a charger."

32. When they try to stop the microwave before it hits 0 but mess up and the timer goes off anyways

"Ope, I missed it by that much."

33.When they need toilet paper in the bathroom and have none around even though they knew they were running low for a while

"Ope, I should have gotten to that."

34. When a girl walks outside and her skirt or dress flys up in the wind

"Ope, there's a bit of a breeze."

35. When they put all of their groceries away when they get home but forget one item and don't notice it until later

"Ope, I forgot one."

36. When someone is holding someone elses baby and they accidently bump it's head on something and it starts crying

"Ope, I hope they don't know I did it."

37. When they go to squeeze toothpast out but there's none left

"Ope."

38. When they go to pull the tab up to open a soda and it comes off instead

"Ope, that wasn't supposed to happen."

39. When they spill chile on their packer jersey

"Ope, I got chile on my jersey."

40. When someone says something that is the elephant in the room that no one wanted to talk about but now it's awkward

"Ope," just ope.

Cover Image Credit: Sierra Gardner

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1. Smile all the time.

Guys want to be with girls who are always happy. Men get severely uncomfortable when all the women around them are not Cheshire cat level elated all the fucking time. Why are you mad? Why do you look so pissed? Are you defective? Autopilot your brain to borderline creepy giddiness before men get the idea that you might actually be capable of a full range of human emotion.

2. Be smart.

Men want women to be smart, but never smarter than them. Don’t know or say anything too much about anything specifically – except sports.

3. Eat like a man, look like a lady.

How many burgers can you fit in your mouth at once? Better, even, how many hotdogs? Have the appetite of a grizzly bear, but eat like a cute tiny rabbit, or Kate Upton faking an orgasm. Oh, and never, ever get above a size 4.

4. Play video games.

No guy can resist a girl who loves to play video games (in her underwear). Fifa, 2K, Smash, Kart – know them all. If you can’t at least beat his worst friend at his favorite game, you’re not a keeper.

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If you can’t throw ‘em back like one of the guys, you’re not wifey. Yeah, that Norwegian IPA no one's ever fucking heard of? You got it. Bud Light? Sure. Fat Tire? You love that shit. Feel free to let out that beer burp while you’re at it, but the burp you’d imagine a Japanese dwarf squirrel would let out after eating rainbows. Oh, and don’t forget, size 4.

6. Be a freak, but also a nun.

We all know that lyric (thank you, Ludacris, so much). Hit those yoga poses hard because he wants you to bust that shit out like you’ve done it before. But you haven’t … right? Have you?!

7. Keep him on his toes.

No man wants a woman who is predictable and boring. Challenge him. Keep him intrigued. Drop an F bomb every now and then. Learn a foreign language in your spare time so that you might give the illusion of being exotic in bed (Slavic languages sound super sexy). Induce yourself into an epileptic seizure. Whatever it takes to keep it interesting.

8. Have quirks.

Ah, quirks. The things that make people unique. The things that make people, people. You must have at least three of these but no more than five. Think relatable Stepford Wife.

9. Be hot.

This is potentially the most important, and luckily I don’t need to tell you how this works. Look at anything. Anywhere. That ever existed.

10. Never, ever get mad.

The worst thing you can do as a woman is challenge a man’s authority. Don’t talk back. Don’t think. Don’t have expectations. Sit. Roll over. Hold the bark.

---

And finally, in the spirit of strong conclusions and remarkably appropriate GIFs:

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr
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