This week I finished "Grey's Anatomy"—all 12 seasons. It's a very odd feeling, this feeling I have. I mean, I've been watching this show since October of last year (that's literally nine months ago), and now I don't know what to do. Alas, here is a emotional rendition of my feelings and thoughts and yes, it does include spoilers.

1. What am I going to watch now?

2. I need a new show to dedicate my life to.

3. Will this show even live up to Grey's anyways?

4. Who cares, I need something to occupy my time with now.

5. Plus, season 13 airs on September 22, so I don't have to wait that long anyways.

6. That was kind of a quick turn around for Meredith to get over Derek.

7. Plus it's the guy that Owen hates, so I can't see that going well.

8. Not to mention Maggie thinks that Riggs likes her, even though he totally hooked up with Mer. Like for real Maggie? Are you always so ignorant?

9. And since we're on the juicy stuff, who the heck did Jo marry?

10. And what's her real name?

11. I just can't wait until season 13.

12. Do Amelia and Owen even get married? I mean technically they didn't show the entire wedding.

13. Does Christina ever return? I miss her.

14. How did Meredith get over Christina so fast too? They were soul mates.

15. If Christina was my soul mate I would not be nice like Meredith was.

16. There's only 48 days, 3 hours, 0 minutes and 6 seconds until season 13 starts.

17. I hated Alex in season one, but now I love him.

18. Same with every character on this show.

19. What will I watch when I'm sick or sad?

20. When I pick a new show I'm going to feel like I'm cheating on Grey's.

21. No other show goes as well with Ben & Jerry's.

22. If I hadn't pushed through the boringness of season 10, I would not be here in this situation.

23. The deaths that I have lived through while watching this show...so many.

24. George O'Malley. 007.

25. Lexie Grey.

26. Mark Sloan.

27. Heather Brooks.

28. Reed Adamson.

29. Ellis Grey.

30. Harold O'Malley.

31. Samuel Norbert Avery.

32. Charles Percy (the guy who was a transfer from the other hospital and died in the shooting).

33. Adele Webber.

34. Doc the dog.

35. Henry Burton (Teddy's insurance husband).

36. Derek Shepard. There are no words. Thank you for ripping our hearts out Shonda Rhimes.

37. Denny Duquette. The drama and the sadness of his death was too much.

38. And to think, we lived through all of these deaths, all the drama, whether you watched it on Netflix or ABC; we were with Meredith through them all.

39. Time to go watch something more comical, less morbid, and definitely less dark and twisty than Shonda Rimes' "Grey's Anatomy" for a while.

40. *tears*

We lived through it all, and now all we can do is wait until season 13 airs—you know I'll have my pj's on, a bowl of popcorn and a box of tissues ready.