Anyone who has gone through a divorce knows it is some of the worst days of your life, but those hard times are just making room for better days. It has been a few years since my parents divorce and I am now able to reflect on why it was the right choice and how it has made me the person I am today. Here are four reasons my parent’s divorce was a blessing in my life.
1. Divorce taught me how to love
The initial thought of every child when they hear their parents are divorcing is to get furious and want them back together. There is no question that was me as a child, but looking back, it was the best decision my parents could have made. If they would have stayed together, my vision of love would not be accurate. They would have taught me that it is okay to constantly fight with your spouse and stay with someone you do not love.
Instead, my parents are able to reflect on the marriage and tell me that’s not how love is supposed to be. They have taught me to do what makes me happy and if I am not happy to leave it in the past. My parents set an example for me that a marriage is a blessing and to not follow their example.
2. Fairytales are not reality
As a kid, we are taught stories like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. You meet your prince charming, fall in love and then it is happily ever after. I was able to learned early on that those love stories are not realistic.
My parents divorce taught me that not all love stories have a happy ending but, you need to fight for a happy ending. I look back on the many years they fought before the divorce, and it is inspirational. They spent years trying to put back together their love and marriage. My parents set an example for me that love is not easy; you fight for the ones you love, but there is not always a happily ever after.
3. Love is everything
One of the hardest parts of divorce is having to stand by and watching your parents' hearts get broken over-and-over again by the same person. By the time my parent’s divorce was finalized, I lost all hope in love and my future marriage, but that did not last long.
A couple months after my parent’s divorce, an amazing man walked into my mother’s life. Their relationship has showed what a true love story can be like. They have showed me that love is nothing close to what I thought it was growing up. This man has taught me the kind of love to look for in the future in a man. He taught me to only go into relationships that have trust, honesty and understanding. My mom has set an example for me to never settle for less than I deserve. This is a lesson I would have never learned if it was not for the divorce.
4. Family is forever
Divorces are known to tear families apart, but by the end of most divorces, the rough times only make family relationships stronger in the future. There is something about seeing someone at their absolute worst and sticking by their side to see the brighter days. Seeing a different parent every weekend, most think the parent-daughter relationship would suffer but it only made it stronger.
I get to spend one-on-one time with each parent separately and have conversations that cannot be had in a family setting. I have two of the most amazing parents who do not let their divorce define them or our family. I will love both of my parents until the end of time and a divorce cannot change that.