4 Weird Condiments Every UK and USA Citizen Needs on Their Dinner Table

4 Weird Condiments Every UK and USA Citizen Needs on Their Dinner Table

Mayonnaise and mustard are so last year.
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Run into your garden right now and peer into your neighbour's kitchen. If you don't have a garden, then drill a hole into your wall and have a peek. Don't bother checking out what they're cooking, no one cares about food anymore.

Zoom your binoculars in on what's next to their plate, because if they're anybody who's anybody, then one of these 4 weird but wonderful condiments should be setting their house on fire! (idiomatically speaking).

4. Mad Dod 357

This mild hot sauce leaves brands like Tabasco and Cholula wishing they'd taken a trip to the flavour factory. It's the perfect mix of tastiness and spice; ideal for appeasing those guests that fear even the slightest touch of chilli.

If you look closely, you can see your neighbour slathering Mad Dog 357 all over his pizza and nipples. Yeah, nipples. It's that good.

3. Ovaltine Blended with Digestive Biscuits

Have you been wondering what that racket through the wall is around dinner time? No, it's not your neighbour pleasuring a lawnmower (that's done quietly before breakfast). It's the trendy noise of a hot, bed-time Ovaltine being united in a whirlwind of fury with a handful of crumbly digestive biscuits.

This happening new condiment goes perfectly with pork, rump steak, or if you're vegan, Weetabix (because let's face it, that's all vegans ever eat. Boring!).

2. Tomato Ketchup

You may not have heard of this one before. Only the most "in" supermarkets like Iceland, Poundland and The Co-Op are stocking this thick, godly juice right now.

The brand taking the front coach of this express train to flavourville is Muir Glen Organic. Their style of ketchup is putting brands like Heinz to shame. I feel like coughing up chunks even typing their sickeningly unfashionable name, let alone dipping my fishsticks in their tomato flavoured garbage!

One dollop of Muir Glen Organic's heavenly red sauce will inspire your chips, enlighten your hot-dog and violently rebirth your burger, no questions asked.

1. Corn Chowder

Money, Corn: they're connected. And they feed back to each other very simply (find out how in the video below).

Have you noticed your neighbour's new Mercedes Beanz humming smoothly into her driveway? Or maybe you've noticed that her boobs have grown into slightly larger, solid, statuesque lumps that remain completely still, no matter how strong the wind? No, that didn't happen to her chesticles because she's stressed out (I think).

It's because she's got a new job, one that pays well enough for plastic surgery and allows her to sit at home listening to Crass albums while she does it. Yeah, she's living the life.

While some people like her are smart enough to get their foot in the door of the fresh-faced, but sure-shot success, corn chowder industry, most are just eating it (and loving it), whether they're being paid to or not.

See, corn chowder is the condiment and the meal. What sick freak would want to sully it's delectable flavour with literally anything else other than more corn chowder? I struggle to imagine...

And now, a short message from our sponsor, Neil Daly:

"Alert! Calling all ambitious, unemployed food addicts! Do you want to get in on the ground floor of this corn chowder explosion? Watch our video and contact me, Neil Daly, to find out how you could become our next corn chowder eating machine! I'm willing to dance."

That about does it for this week's list of very useful things. Now that you've finished reading this article, you can prove to your neighbour (and the rest of the world) that they're not the only cool cats in town, by sharing it on Facebook, Twitter or Reddit. Knowledge withheld is knowledge that smells, don't you know.

Are your dinners grateful? Has the Heinz been left behind(z)? Let us know in the comments!

Cover Image Credit: ytimg

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9 Things All Mexican Food Addicts Know All Too Well

Don't come between me and my Mexican food.
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In the city I grew up in, there is a Mexican restaurant just about every five miles. They are the after school hangouts and first date go-to's for most of the kids here, especially the high school girls.

I know the servers at my favorite one know my order almost every time I go in there (at least once a week). However, a lot of people apparently get tired of eating Mexican food about twice a week... but I sure don't. If you are a Mexican food addict like me, I am sure you know at least a few of these yourself.

1. Cheese dip tastes like heaven and you have to have it.

That amazing creamy white cheese dip put on a perfectly salted chip is enough to make your day better. Forget the actual food---we'd be content living off of cheese dip and chips for the rest of our lives. Our restaurant trip is not complete without an order of it and if you are lucky enough to get your favorite waiter, maybe even get a large bowl for the night.

SEE ALSO: An Ode To Queso, My First And True Love

2. You never have to look at the menu.



We know when we decide to go what we are having and it is probably the exact same plate we order each time. I am sure the servers laugh after I order some days because there is only three things I rotate between. My burrito is always my go-to, unless I am feeling fancy.

3. Some of the servers know who you are when you walk in the door.

Either by first name or by order they know us. You are the ones that they tell to pick your own seat and already have your drink order placed by the time you sit down.

4. Your boyfriend/ girlfriend puts you on Mexican restaurant restriction on date night.


You drag them there so much, they get tired of eating there. So much so, they flat out say no when you ask to go there on date night. I mean, how does someone get tired of Mexican food to begin with though?

SEE ALSO: The Perfect Skin Color For A Mexican?

5. You can hum some of the songs that come on.

We may not know what they are saying in the song, but we know the song---trust us. We are in there so much we remember them. Don't ask any questions when we start humming.

6. You "have" a parking spot.

Do not park in my parking spot that is not actually my parking spot, but is my parking spot. Got it? Just do not do it. That starts my meal bad when you take my normal spot.

7. You used to hangout there all the time after school.

It was the hangout spot. Forget the nasty school lunch--- everyone goes to eat Mexican after school. It's the cool thing to do and it started your addiction.

8. You always want to introduce new people to your favorite restaurant.

Oh, you aced that exam? Let's go eat at this amazing Mexican restaurant I love! We always want to find people to go there to eat with so we always introduce new people to it.

9. People always pick on you about your addiction.


Yes, I love Mexican food. Go ahead and tag me in all the memes on Facebook about tacos. As long as I have my Mexican food, I am fine with that.

All in all, we LOVE our Mexican food and our go-to restaurants--- so here is your warning. Don't come between me and my Mexican food.

Cover Image Credit: jenaroundtheworld

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Southern Comfort Food Recipes

A recipe passed down through the family from my Grandma.

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Since the weather is turning cooler here in Connecticut, I like to keep a little piece of home with me by cooking up some Biscuits and Gravy with sausage crumbles. My Grandma on my mother's side used to make it all the time. On cold mornings it really hits the spot so long as you have the time to make it.

From beginning to end I would say the process takes about 45 minutes.

Kitchen utensils:

- Skillet (10 Inches)

- Wooden Spoon

- Baking Pan

-Measuring Cup

-Mixing Bowl

- Flour Sifter

Oven Temp:350

The easiest way to go about this is by making the biscuits first. They can bake in the oven while the sausage and gravy are being made.

Biscuit Recipe

Usually, I never measure, I know it's bad, its a Southern habit but for you guys I did.

1 cup flour (Self-rising)

1/2 cup water

2 Tbsp bacon grease**

1 tsp salt- for taste

I start by sifting my flour, just make sure there are no clumps. Once the flour is sifted, I add the bacon grease to it. This is a vital ingredient. Otherwise, your biscuits will taste very bland. There will be a note at the end of the recipe on how to render the bacon grease. Add the water and salt and mix the ingredients until they are incorporated, the dough will be wet. You didn't do anything wrong; it's supposed to be that way.

After the dough is made I like to use a large silverware spoon to scoop (like you would cookie dough) them out and put them on the baking sheet, sprayed with non-stick cooking spray or buttered, whichever you prefer. This recipe should yield about 8 biscuits. If you want more or less, you can edit the recipe accordingly.

Bake biscuits at 350 temp for 20-25 minutes. Or until the tops are nice and golden. Once I pull them from the oven, I like to use a stick of butter and rub it on top, so it seeps into the cracks and crevices.

Sausage

This is probably the easiest part of the recipe.

-1 roll of Jimmy Dean sausage or a sausage of your choice

****Very important side note! It's best not to get the maple flavored kind. Otherwise, you will have maple flavored gravy, and that's not good.

This is where the skillet comes in. In the skillet break apart the sausage roll into the skillet. Cook until sausage is brown, probably 10 minutes. If some gets stuck to the pan that's ok. it will be used for the gravy. Once the sausage is browned remove from the skillet and set aside.

Gravy Recipe

This is my favorite part of the recipe!

Ingredients:

- 1 1/2 cups of water

-1/2 cup of milk

-1 tsp salt

-1 tsp pepper

3 Tbsp flour

After the sausage is removed from the pan, there should be some grease left behind. DO NOT THROW IT OUT! Reduce the heat on the skillet to medium and add the flour. If the flour doesn't become like a thin paste in the bottom of the pan, you don't have enough grease. You can substitute vegetable oil, maybe a teaspoon just enough to loosen the flour.

Let the flour cook until it's a light brown, don't forget to stir it! You want to get all the sausage drippings off the bottom of the skillet. Add salt and pepper. Add water and milk, stir immediately! Otherwise, the gravy will be lumpy. I usually turn the burner off and let it cook from the heat. I like thin gravy, so I only let it cook a few minutes.

Once finished add the sausage back to the gravy and stir it in.

Cut open a biscuit and lay the halves out like a hamburger bun, smoother in gravy and ENJOY!

*** SIDE NOTE- To render bacon grease, save the leftover grease from cooking bacon. It will turn into almost a soft butter consistency after it cools down.

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