I'll admit, I drive home from college far more often than most people. Because of this, I spend about two and a half hours a week on I-35, listening to music, talking to friends, and making sarcastic comments to myself about the construction present at almost every mile of my journey. So I decided to compile a list of things that are likely to occur before the newly modified Interstate 35 is open to the public--an event that has been postponed since the project's inception in 2012. Also, instead of explanations, I will only provide you with some of my first Google image search results. Enjoy.

1. The end of the world

2. Your 30th birthday

3. You and your mother-in-law having a moment that makes her not hate you anymore

4. An executive order requiring all trains to be painted with a cartoonish face

5. A subsequent executive order banning all travel on trains with faces

6. Your 16-year-old daughter's son's baptism

7. A How I Met Your Mother reboot

8. The WHO declaring zombies a threat to public safety

9. The extinction of pandas

10. Lava lamps once again being an acceptable form of home lighting

11. Flying cars replacing automobiles.

12. The end of Marvel's Avengers franchise

13. The beginning of Marvel's Avengers reboot franchise

14. Finally getting off your couch and actually doing something with your life, like becoming a tax consultant or international ivory smuggler.

15. Cousin Sherri's third wedding.

16. A Nirvana reunion tour, somehow featuring the ghost of Kurt Cobain using some sort of technology that was invented in 2022

17. May 7, 2018

18. Cousin Sherri's third divorce.

19. The Apple iPhone 14S

20. The Samsung Galaxy Note 12

21. Samsung recalling the Galaxy Note 12 due to reports of the phone "spontaneously catching fire."

22. You figuring out how to photoshop images of futuristic phones.

23. The death of your family dog

24. The birth of your son's worst enemy

25. The discovery of vaguely human life on Saturn's rings.

26. Your realization that this list is getting tedious

27. I mean really, why are you still reading this thing?

28. Wow, you must really have nothing better to do...

29. Oh well, guess I'll get back to the list

30. Some invention as influential as the wheel, changing the course of humanity as we know it

31. The global warming crisis getting resolved by a unified multi-national effort

32. An executive order regulating the structure and production of all public access soap dispensers, so as to provide hand washers with uniform dispensing locations

33. The elimination of all Wi-Fi connectivity problems

34. The death of a salesman.

35. The end of this list.