Being a girl sucks. There, I said it. I’m not ashamed to admit that being a girl is actually the worst. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of reasons why being a girl is totally awesome, but for the most part, it is nowhere near as fun as it looks. I'm almost 100% sure that guys have never had to deal with the perils of painful periods and crazy hormones, much less all these other reasons—and this is only the beginning.
1. Makeup. All the makeup.
Boys will never understand all the time, money, and effort that goes into having gold eyelids.
2. Wanting to hangout with a guy, but also not wanting to seem clingy.
Where is the middle ground on this one? Has anyone ever found it?
3. Double standards.
You double-text, it’s exciting. I do it, and I’m crazy. Explain?
4. Involuntarily reading too far into a situation.
I feel like this is a universal talent for girls all over the world.
5. Periods.
Name a time where a guy has has to bleed for a week and feel constant stabbing all throughout the abdomen. Moving on.
6. The gynecologist.
A necessary evil… A literal evil.
7. Shaving.
Sure, let me remove every hair from every inch of my body. Sounds like a fun time.
8. Summer = Thighs Sticking to Plastic Chairs Season.
The number of times I’ve had to peel my skin off of a chair in the past few months is appalling.
9. Expected to be just the right amount of crazy, clingy, and chill.
I’m convinced that this is completely impossible. But if you’ve achieved it, hit me up. I need some tips.
10. Having to go without a jacket because it will clash with your outfit.
It could be 27 degrees out and I would still refuse to wear a jacket that covers the criss-cross back of my dress. Fact.
11. Having to disregard the weather entirely in order to have a perfect outfit.
Girls are immune to the cold. Also fact.
12. Not checking the weather only to walk out of the house and realize it’s pouring rain.
Well, there goes that 30 minutes of my life I spent doing my hair I’ll never get back.
13. Crying for what you feel is a legit reason, but then having your boyfriend think you’re crazy for your way of thinking.
No, nothing is wrong. Actually, everything is wrong. You’re stupid and didn’t tell me I was pretty today.
14. The fact that you’ve probably already cried 18 times today.
In your defense, that puppy was very cute.
15. Not being able to cry because your makeup is way too on fleek for that today.
I don’t have time for tears when one tube of my mascara is $34. Next.
16. Heels.
I’m convinced that they were actually invented as a torture device for women everywhere.
17. Having people expect you to be a Martha Stewart-Betty Crocker hybrid just because you were born with lady bits.
So I burn water and hate cleaning. What’s wrong with that?
18. Not being able to find your favorite black dress amongst all your other 357 articles of black clothing.
Black will never go out of style. Trust me.
19. Running with big boobs.
Does this even need an explanation? I’m not trying to get a black eye.
20. Getting paid less than men.
Don’t even get me started on this one.
21. When literally all you need is a hair tie, and your only good one breaks.
It took me three weeks to get this thing perfectly stretched and then it just snaps. Is there no good left in this world?
22. When people think it’s a good idea to ride with the windows down.
Wind-blown hair is a myth created by Hollywood.
23. The existence of panty lines.
Can’t a girl wear yoga pants in peace?
24. The existence of thongs.
Sure, I love having my butt crack flossed.
25. Having to buy a bra.
I didn't choose the boob life, the boob life chose me.
26. Having to actually wear said bra.
Is this really necessary?
27. Having your ovaries physically hurt after seeing a cute baby.
Does this happen to everyone or is it just me?
28. Being called “honey” or “sweetie” at unnecessarily inappropriate times.
Hold on, bathing myself in hand sanitizer after the creepy guy in the supermarket called me “hun.”
29. Feeling like you have to stay up-to-date with all the newest fashion trends.
What if I don't want to wear those skin-tight lace up shirts that literally everyone is wearing?
30. Having to get fully naked to pee in a romper.
Beauty is pain, ladies.
31. Pants pockets.
WHY EVEN PUT POCKETS ON PANTS IF ALL I CAN FIT INTO ONE IS A BREAD CRUMB? Someone explain.
32. Being in constant conflict of wanting to be single but also wanting a relationship.
My wallet says no, but my Instagram says yes.
33. Worrying if you’ll ever actually meet your future husband.
What if I never get married? Will I ever find love? Living alone with 30 cats can’t be that bad, right?
34. Worrying, period.
Worrying: the newest Olympic sport coming 2020.
35. The realization that you will never marry Zac Efron.
Ugh. The world just isn’t fair.
