30 Things You Wouldn't Want to Hear During Surgery

1. “Stop jogging my elbow!”

2. “Didn’t we have three scalpels when we started?”

3. “Well, that’s weird.”

4. “I think you put that in upside-down.”

5. “Are you sure you cut this one?”

6. “Now where did it go?”

7. “Come on, just make it move a little more to the right.”

8. “This is really squishy. Watch what happens when I poke it.”

9. “Well, shucks. Now what do we do?”

10. “I distinctly heard you say this was a lobotomy when we started!”

11. “Man, I had such a hangover this morning.”

12. “Eenie, meenie, miney, mo…”

13. “Man, I’ve just had it today. Feel like I want to rip something to pieces”

14. “Sir, if this doesn’t work out, I know a very affordable funeral home you can look into.”

15. “You know, it’s amazing how many organs you can lose and still keep going.”

16. “This reminds me of that play my wife and I saw last week. Sweeny Tim, I think it’s called.”

17. “No, I’m more of an improv man myself.”

18. “Where should we go for lunch after this? I’m in the mood for something with liver.”

19. “Wait a minute, I know this guy. He used to beat the crap out of me in school.”

20. “What do you mean we can’t ask for tips before we start?”

21. “Okay, let’s get started folks. Cue the Jaws theme.”

22. “Tic-tac-toe, anyone?”

23. “I find drilling things to be therapeutic, actually.”

24. “Now I really feel sick.”

25. “I’m really getting into classic American music. This week I’m listening to Mack the Knife.”

26. “You know, in my college years I worked at this butcher shop...”

27. “Will something tell the nurse to stop sneezing, please?”

28. “Saw this cook cutting sushi the other day, he did it like this…”

29. “Can we speed things up? I’ve got tickets to the big game in an hour.”

30. “He signed the organ donor form before we started, right?”

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