30 Reasons You Know You Grew Up Jewish
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30 Reasons You Know You Grew Up Jewish

Finding out Drake is Jewish is still one of your greatest discoveries

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30 Reasons You Know You Grew Up Jewish

1. You were probably in BBYO and laugh at how seriously you took it.

2. When a throwback comes on, you immediately pair it with Bar/Bat mitzvah season.

3. Speaking of Bar/Bat mitzvahs, your theme will always be a definitive aspect of who you are.

4. You still remember the stress of deciding which Bar/Bat mitzvahs to go to per weekend.

5. You also remember all of the weird organized dances that DJs would make up, and you still do them from time to time. "Egypt, Egypt, you pump it, you pump it."

6. The first time you danced (grinded) with the opposite sex was at one of these "crazy" middle school blowouts, and quite possibly to the song "Yeah" by the one and only Usher.


7. You still have nightmares of when everyone would pelt candy at your face when your service was over.

8. You introduced all of your goyim friends to matzah, and they typically refer to it as a "cracker".

9. "Oy vey", "Shalom" and "Mazel Tov" are part of your every day vernacular.

10. The day your parents stopped giving you Hanukkah presents is to-date one of the hardest things you've undergone.

11. When you were little, you wanted to be one of the big kids in the high holiday services. When you were one of the big kids in services you wanted to be one of the little kids in the playroom eating apples and honey.

12. Bagels on Sundays after Hebrew School were inevitable.

13. Speaking of Hebrew School, you still have unpleasant flashbacks.

14. Oh yeah, and bagels are one of the most precious staples of Jewish culture, but not that Einstein sh**t. You can even tell what bagels come from where upon your first bite.

15. Your family is incredibly, if not strangely, close and you wouldn't have it any other way.

16. The Christmas vs. Hanukkah dispute is an ongoing one, even into your adult-ish years.

17. If there's anything Jews mastered, it's food. Especially seeing as how every holiday is based around eating it.

18. You have a favorite Hamentashen flavor, which probably isn't poppyseed.

19. You also live for your family's noodle kugel, and it makes Yom Kippur fasting so totally worth it.

20. And don't forget Seven Layer cake and its stacked chocolatey goodness.

21. You like to pretend you can speak Hebrew but in actuality you haven't even fully mastered the Sh'ma.

22. The Rugrats Passover and Hanukkah Specials always hit home.


23. You had a separate wardrobe for synagogue-appropriate attire.

24. You still don't 100% understand what gefilte fish is, but you still try to explain what it is to other people.

25. Nothing was more depressing than being one of the only Jewish kids at a birthday party during Passover and not being able to eat pizza.

26. You will also never fully understand why we deem it necessary to lift people on chairs for "simchas".

27. You most likely spent your summers away at an overnight camp and your friends either went with you or were envious.

28. The "Horah" was the first dance you ever learned.

29. Jewish Geography is a real thing and you typically assume you know someone just because they're Jewish. You also can tell if someone is Jewish based on their last name.

30. You know exactly how to pronounce "ch," partially in thanks to Angelica Pickles.


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