In honor of spring break and my having to travel 10,000 miles back home in order to sign a few legal papers and then having to come back to school a week after being home, here are 30 more fun things you could do while traveling: your expanded airport guide in getting you kicked out of the airport.

1. Make friends with the people at your gate, ask them about their back stories. Compile this information for number five on this list.

2. When asked about your backstory, tell them something completely made up. See how well you can convince them of the fact that you're returning home to Barcelona to your other husband who you're convinced is gay because your other husband wanted to pursue his dream of becoming a macaroon connoisseur in Paris was cheating on you with the 65-year-old woman who was making the macaroons.

3. See how long you can stand reading an entire magazine or book in a bookstore before getting kicked out.

4. Fail to stay longer than half an hour and make a little den for yourself at a corner of your gate. Pull out your laptop, charger, blanket and headphones. Make it clear you're going to hog that outlet for a long, long time.

5. Start writing that novel you've always dreamed of writing; you know, the one about a fateful romantic encounter at an airport with some kind of M. Night Shyamalan-type plot twist thrown in there.

6. Find a cute boy near a food establishment and ask him for a date. If successful, go to number seven. If unsuccessful, find someone else and try again. If incredibly unsuccessful, go to number eight.

7. Find out he's your soulmate and drop everything for this boy; miss your flight and follow him to his destination.

8. Sit with a person eating alone and see how that goes. If successful go to number seven. If unsuccessful, find someone else and try again. If extraordinarily unsuccessful, give up all hope of making your romantic novel come true and cry at a deserted corner of the airport.

9. Go on a culinary trip around the airport. See what different kinds of cuisines you can actually find and sample. Or use this as a cover for eating your feelings after numbers six, seven and eight.

10. Ask people to play pranks on strangers by convincing them that the strangers are really your friends.

11. Bolt as soon as the prank backfires. Pray that none of the people involved are on your flight.

12. If you spot an empty gate, try to get on the intercom. Let everyone listen to the fire mix tape you made on a previous flight. (See here.)

13. Bolt as soon as you're spotted by airport security. Throw handfuls of said fire mix tapes at bystanders/fans.

14. Make your own version of airport bingo. Possible squares include but are not limited to: fighting couple, drooling sleeper, person carrying a carry-on bag that is clearly larger than regulation size, person who is giving person with the carry-on bag that is clearly larger than regulation size a side-eye.

15. Have a travelator race.

16. High five everyone you pass on the travelator.

17. Organize a dance on the travelator.

18. Check Yik Yak. Comment misleading information on those ever-abundant "transit and chill" yaks.

19. Try to find all the hungover college kids and convince them that trolly racing from one terminal to the other sounds like a great idea.

20. Bolt as soon as you see one of them frantically looking for a bathroom.

21. Practice your private investigator skills and try to follow people for as long as possible without them noticing.

22. Try and hitch a ride on an airport buggy.

23. Try to drive said airport buggy.

24. Bolt as soon as airport security announces a rogue buggy on the intercom.

25. See how many people you can find having a tantrum at their gate because they've missed their flight.

26. Bonus points if the plane is literally still there and they're banging and screaming on the glass to get the pilot's attention.

27. Film the scene and upload it to YouTube.

28. Talk to everyone in a foreign accent and see how long you can keep it up until someone spots your clearly-not-from-London passport.

29. While waiting for your luggage that's taking forever to come out, collect all the luggage that you've seen pass you by at least seven times and build a fort.

30. Or, you know, just ride the baggage claim carousel all the way to the back to get your luggage yourself.