The 2003 classic movie “Elf” has been built into our childhood traditions and now into a Broadway show with all the humor and classic one- liners we all love. Here’s 30 lines to commemorate the classic holiday film.
“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”
“Not now, Arctic Puffin!”
“I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite.”
“I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.”
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!”
“I’m singing! I’m in a store and I’m singing!”
“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.”
“This place reminds me of Santa’s Workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.”
“Have you seen this toilets? They’re ginormous!”
“Santa! Oh, my God! Santa’s coming! I know him! I know him!”
“You stink! You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.
“You sit on a throne of lies!”
“So, good news—I saw a dog today.”
“Nice purple dress. Very purpley.”
“Francisco! That’s fun to say! Francisco. Frannn-cisco. Fran-cis-cooo.”
“Son of a NUT-cracker!”
“It’s just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture.”
“Deb, you have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card.”
[Seeing a sign for “World’s Best Cup of Coffee”] “You did it! Congratulations! World’s best cup ofcoffee! Great job, everybody! It’s great to be here.
“I think you’re really beautiful and I feel really warm when I’m around you and my tongue swells up. So… do you want to eat food?”
“I thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.”
“I planned out our whole day. First we’ll make snow angels for a two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie dough as fast as we can, and then we’ll snuggle.”
“Why don’t you just say it? I’m the worst toy-maker in the world? I am a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!”
“What about Santa’s cookies? I suppose ‘parents’ eat those, too?”
“I’m sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR.”
“There’s room for everyone on the Nice List!”
“Well, there are some things you should know [about New York]. First off, if you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn’t free candy. Second, there are, like, thirty Ray’s Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one’s on 11th. And if you see a sign that says ‘Peep Show,’ that doesn’t mean that they’re letting you look at the new toys before Christmas.”
“Of course you’re not an elf. You’re six-foot-three and had a beard since you were fifteen.”
“What about this: a tribe of asparagus children, but they’re self-conscious about the way their pee smells.”
“As you can imagine, it’s dangerous having an oven in an oak tree during the dry season.”
“Some call it ‘the show’ or ‘the big dance;’ it’s the profession that every elf aspires to—and that is to build toys in Santa’s workshop.”
