If you've ever had writer's block, then you know how unbearable it can be. Thankfully, we have the internet, so I pulled up some short story prompts and let my imagination run wild. I decided to pull up three prompts and try to connect them to make a coherent story. Here are my responses to the first three from http://blog.ed.ted.com/2015/11/17/21-fun-things-to....

Write the first communication sent back to Earth after humans land on Mars.

The radio crackled to life. “Johnson!” screamed the sergeant. “Get to your post. NOW.” Johnson shuddered and turned up the transmission. “Daskdfhdd...H...Hello? Can you hear us?...You can? Good! This is the crew of the Artemis, Mission 12! Remember us? We just touched down on Mars and...uh… needless to say it’s different. For starters, there’s disembodied fingernails everywhere and they seem to communicate through chalkboards. It’s...the most beautiful thing any of us have ever heard. Maybe it’s something in the atmosphere but every time they speak it sounds like a symphony had a baby with siren songs.

In any case, we started getting hungry…”

Write a eulogy for a sandwich, to be delivered while eating it.

“The sandwiches on Mars are also significantly more...lively than they are on Earth. Xefr-02 was a good sandwich. Loyal, caring, compassionate, and in death, delicious. In fact, as I say this, I’m gulping his remains down my gullet, which may not be the best way to go, but this is what he would’ve wanted. This was his purpose in life: he was created to be my lunch. And although his time on this planet was brief, he will be missed dearly. At least until I make another sandwich.”

Write the ad for an expensive new drug that improves bad posture. Now, list the possible side effects.

“Sir! The crew has contacted us again, sir! It seems to be an advert this time, sir!” The sergeant groaned. “Dammit Johnson, we’ve haven’t left this room for 10 years, and they have the audacity to make their second communication with us an advertisement?! Very well, play it.” “As you all may know, ever since creatures with actual spines have inhabited Mars, posture has hit an all-time low. We fingernails haven’t had to worry about posture because they simply exist in one rigid state. However, you humans have spinal columns to worry about. To help heal your achey bones, there’s new Vertebrat. Vertebrat is especially formulated to help sustain the calcium in the bones of human beings. Not only will it prevent your back from turning into rubber, it’ll also improve your posture! In fact your back will be so stiff that you won’t even be physically able to have poor posture. Side effects include vomiting, growing extra fingers to accommodate extra fingernails that may or may not be parasitic, fingernail cancer, and death. Vertebrat, the only drug that’ll turn your bones into stones!