I suck at communicating with people. I know this, and yet I never put in any effort to change my ways. And, honestly, I’ve seen no reason to change until recently when it was made very clear to me that actively communicating with people is a good thing. So, in an effort to better communicate with the people in my life, here is a list of what my lack of communication does and doesn’t mean.

1. If I don’t text back, that doesn’t mean I’m mad at you.

I just want to reassure all of you reading this that if I fail to respond to a text it is because I’m the worst. Not because I’m mad at you or something. Now, there are a couple reasons why I wouldn’t respond to a text: I’m going to see you in the next 5-10 minutes (still not a great excuse), I have no service, I didn’t notice that I received a text, or I’m asleep. The last one is probably the most likely.

2. Even if I haven’t reached out recently, I still consider you a friend.

I am particularly bad at communicating with people that I don’t see often. I get into this (idiotic) mindset where I assume that people are busy with their lives and don’t need to be bothered by me. I continue to believe this despite recognizing how happy I feel when someone that I haven’t seen in a while texts me. So, again, I am the worst type of person and that’s why I don’t reach out to people as much as I should. I 100% still consider you my friend.

3. If I don’t post a photo online, I promise you that I still had a great time

It probably doesn’t shock you that I am also bad at social media. I have had an Instagram for three years and have only posted 42 photos. After having an amazing experience I think to myself “Do people really care if I saw this cool tree (or something to that effect)?” and more often than not, I respond with a resounding “no.” When, in actuality, a lot of people probably do care (maybe not about a tree, but you get the gist). So, if I had a really great time with you and neglected to post a picture here are two reasons why: I was recreating that mental conversation above, or I was having such a good time that I failed to actually take a photo. That’s it. Say it with me: Caitlin just sucks at communicating.

I don’t really know why I’ve become so terrible at communicating, especially in this day and age, but here are a couple of things that I want people to know. To summarize this article using a cliché breakup line; it’s not you, it’s me.