3 Easy Cocktails That Will Blow Your Face off this NYE!

3 Easy Cocktails That Will Blow Your Face off this NYE!

Ingredients: Anecdotes 9/10 Information 1/10.
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Tonight, the Western world is gearing themselves up to end yet another tiresome year of existence by running head first into a wall of booze and then pissing themselves to sleep, while snoring vomit into the bowl of their mate's toilet.

As most of the liquid you'll consume tonight will be passing your tastebuds twice, do yourself a favour and mix up one of these delicious (and sensationally easy) cocktails. Your future self who is regurgitating it along with the kebab your going to cram into your sorry gob will appreciate the flavour.

1. Yo! Juicy

Ingredients: 3/4 Prosseco, 1/4 Watermelon Juice.

The Yo! Juicy is a fatally simple drink that a customer at my old job as a waiter at Yo! Sushi helped me create.

The young woman who was heading off to somewhere a bit sunnier than Gatwick Airport in winter asked me for a cocktail. I reminded her that she was in a sushi bar. She suggested that I just mix her a drink. So, as a joke, I told her that I'd pour her a glass of prosseco and then put some watermelon juice in there.

After judging that she was not joking, I scurried off to collect the drinks. "Really?" I said as the small bottle of watermelon juice hovered over the rim of her prosseco glass.

"Yeah! What's the problem, why do you think this is so weird?" she said. The customer is always right.

I passed by a short while later to see how they were getting on and sure enough, she wanted another prosseco to finish off her watermelon juice with.

Lo, the Yo! Juicy was born.

2. Spanner in the Works

Ingredients: Tequila 2/8, Orange Juice 5/8, Soy Sauce 1/8

This cocktail arrived at a time in my life when all I did was be a mechanic. I lost everyone that I loved to my workaholic appetite for fixing machines and getting paid for it.

It was late one night on New Year's Eve, when my reluctant cohort, Jez, and I were climbing a radio tower just outside Ipswitch. We were tasked with fixing the Ryan Air communication's dish, so we had a load of recycled cardboard strapped to our backs to patch it up.

It only took us a few seconds to replace the dish once we'd reached the top, but even so, Jez was pissing me off with his attitude towards the job. No sooner than we got a confirmation bleep that all the luggage had been lost on the latest arrival at Gatwick, Jez had poured us a tequila sunrise. Hanging 400ft above the English forest and farmland, our faces lit by a periodically blinking red light atop the mast, I had my go at him.

"Jez! We're at work!" I abated him scornfully, "can't you wait until the weekend? You bloody alccy."

"Cleary, we've been working 21 hours a day for a solid month," he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I need a fucking break. And anyway... check the time."

My heart wrenched itself away from work for the first time in four months and I saw in the urgent shade of blinking red how tired Jez looked. He lifted up his wristwatch to me and I saw that it was 23:59:45. I looked up at him, smiled and we both counted down to New Year's Day. Three... two... one!

I dare not speak of what happened between me and my coworker beyond the countdown, hanging from our carabiners up that radio tower, but I can say this: once we had gotten round to our drinks, breathless, each of us saw a small drop of something fall into our glasses. We heard a snickering from above, then a flap of wings. Only at a later date did we realise that the drop was soy sauce.

That's the tale of how the mysterious Spanner in the Works cocktail was made.

3. Andromcider

Ingredients: (nice) Cider 3/4, Strawberries 1/4.

After that night I quit my calling as a mechanic and thought new year, new start.

Within a week I was aboard The International Space Station, playing cards and eating toothpaste for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's safe to say that I was bored shitless within an hour of starting my new job. Fortunately, so were the rest of the staff.

One evening we all decided to take the night off. The solar flares, measurements, repairs or whatever it was we needed to occupy ourselves with on the space station could wait. Each of us had brought booze from our respective countries with us.

Around the plastic white dinner table, we tasked our assistant android, Pope, with mixing us random cocktails from our selection. Of all the combinations we tried, Ms. McCrowley's cider, fermented and bottled in Londonderry, plocked with a few sliced and dashed strawberries took the biscuit.

A lot of heart-warming research was undertaken that night.


After sifting and sipping these insanely easy (and brand new) cocktails, your NYE is guaranteed to be as smashing as Nigel Thornbury thinks everything is! Happy New Year!

Cover Image Credit: timeout

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PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

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It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

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Stop Missing Summer Because Of Your Terrible Sleeping Patterns

It's a bad habit.

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We've all been guilty of a self-indulgent lie-in from time to time, whether we went to bed late the previous night or need a mental health day. But when summer rolls around, it becomes so easy to let the occasional lie-in until noon turns into a horrible habit.

Admittedly, it is nice to put off responsibilities that hang over our shoulders during the school year by staying in bed. It's great to be lazy every once in a while. It can do wonders for your mindset.

However, if you have nothing begging for your attention when the semester is over, that habit can become self-destructive in a way. You stay up past midnight, wake up around noon, dress—and then, the day is nearly over.

It becomes a vicious cycle that is difficult to undo, and if you don't undo it, you're missing out on a large chunk of your summer.

I find this has been happening to me recently. I stay up until two in the morning as I only work a few days a week, and wake up around noon. But in two hours, my sisters finish school, and what have I accomplished? Absolutely nothing!

The self-indulgent lie-in becomes miserable as you see those wasted hours turn to dust, and before you know it, you've already been at home for a month. What do you have to show for it? Days spent waking at noon and barely being productive?

If your sleeping patterns are in your control, I'd advise you to curl up in bed earlier, wake up earlier, and enjoy the world earlier. This is the free time you've been craving all year, and if you're not enjoying it properly, no one else will! The second you let your summer fall out of your control, you become irritated with yourself for letting it happen at all.

There is so much to take advantage of in the early mornings that you're sleeping through! So dress, head outside, and breathe in the summer for what it's worth!

(Also worth noting that sleeping until noon occasionally can be wonderful too, as we all need our relaxing time, but don't get sucked into the habit all over again.)

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