In the last couple decades, the "Self-help" sections of book stores have grown tremendously. The category has blossomed from a small niche interest to a full-blown cultural interest. While some people may still smirk at the concept and turn from self-help shelves in disdain, many others are open-mindedly embracing the ideas offered by such books to create better lives for themselves. Of course, the quality of books classified as self-help can vary greatly, and the value of the insights can depend greatly upon the needs of the reader. But many such books have the potential for challenging us to think critically about the lives we lead and the relationships that bring meaning to our lives. These three books have been particularly well-received and have immense potential for helping us better our attitudes and our lives.
1. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
This book is basically the mother of all self-help books. It was one of the first ever books categorized as self-help to grace the best-seller shelves of bookstores. Although written in 1936, the book remains relevant and tremendously popular. The author, Dale Carnegie, compellingly discusses techniques to increase success in interpersonal scenarios, often using stories to illustrate the techniques and drive his point home. This classic book is an important staple for every personal library and a must-read for anyone who wishes to improve their interpersonal skills.
2. "Mindset" by Carol S. Dweck
Reading this book was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Author and psychologist Carol S. Dweck challenges the mindsets and attitudes with which we go about our daily lives. The basic idea is that many people grow up believing that we were born with fixed intelligence, ability, and talents. The systems we have in place in schools support these ideas, as well as the way we talk about them. Parents praise their children for their talents and intelligence, for how wonderful they completed an assignment without even having to try. Children then grow up striving to appear effortlessly intelligent and talented. We see our failures as reflections of our own lack of intelligence and ability, rather than how we can and should see them— as opportunities for growth and improvement. Dweck illustrates the importance of approaching life with what she calls a “growth mindset,” rather than the unproductive “fixed mindset” many of us have developed. The ideas Dweck discusses in her book have an incredible potential to dramatically change every aspect of our lives for the better, just by helping to change our mindset.
3. "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead" by Brené Brown
In her book, Brené Brown expands on the ideas she discusses in her two highly popular TED Talks, “The Power of Vulnerability” and “Listening to Shame.” The ideas Brené puts forward are based on her years of psychological research on shame. Brené Brown challenges the common association of vulnerability with weakness, portraying it instead not only as evidence of courage but as an essential ability for creating a happy and meaningful life. The following quote comes from her book:
“I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow — that’s vulnerability.”
According to her research, leading our lives with that kind of vulnerability is the best way to create a whole-hearted, fulfilling and meaningful life. If you’re not convinced, give her the chance to explain her groundbreaking ideas and watch her incredible TED Talks. You won't regret it.
