I have been a camp counselor for several years now, and I finally realized that the best way to get through camp is through some sass, sarcasm, and plain old honesty especially when you have campers in their tweens.

1. "Back in my day..."

Okay, what does that even mean? You aren't even 12 yet.

2. "Miss Sam you're not allowed to dance anymore."

This isn't Footloose, you aren't the dance police. I will dance whenever and wherever I want, especially if it embarrasses you.

3. "Miss Sam do you have a life?"

You mean do I have a life outside of camp? Depends on the day.

4. "Why would you want to spend our summer working at a camp with kids?"

See it's when you ask me this that I ask myself this question.

5. "How old are you?"

I'm older than you.

6. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

No, I don't have a boyfriend (not that it's any of your business).

7. "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

I don't know; ask the male population?

8. "Oh man."

What happened now? What did you do now?

9. "I'm sad."

How can I make it better?

10. "Miss Sam are you obsessed with the chicken dance?"

No, but I really enjoy the chicken dance and making you do it because it's hilarious to watch tweens dance like chickens and laugh about it.

11. "Miss Sam are you obsessed with the Macarena?"

Okay, yes I am obsessed with the Macarena. It's a fantastic dance.

12. "Since you're Jewish do you even celebrate Thanksgiving?"

Thanksgiving is an American holiday; it's not a religious holiday.

13. In reference to my necklace with my Hebrew name, "What's that lizard around your neck?"

It's not a lizard; it's my Hebrew name.

14. "Why don't they write your Hebrew name in English?"

Because Hebrew is another language and it's called a Hebrew name for a reason.

15. "This is stupid. Why do we have to do this?"

If I have to do this, you have to do this.

16. "Can I go home yet?"

Sadly, both you and I cannot go home yet.

17. "Why would you ever want to be a teacher?"

You're making me question my career choice and major now.

18. "How much money do you make?"

Not enough.

19. "You're embarrassing me."

That was the goal.

20. "Can you act normal for once?"

Only if you can.

21. "Your hair looks like Miss Claire's and Miss Claire's hair is ugly. Yours isn't as ugly though."

Thanks? I think.

22. "You should wear makeup more often. You look prettier in your ID picture."

Why should I wear makeup? I don't need to impress anyone especially since I'm hanging out with you guys all day.

23. "What happened to your hair? You need some serious hair product."

Not everyone can have a perfect hair day every day.

24. "Your hair looks nice today" (it really didn't and I told my camper that), "I know; I lied to you."

Why would you tell me you lied?

25. "What's for snack?"

You'll find out at snack time.

26. "We had this snack yesterday."

Well, I'm sorry, but this is the snack they gave me to hand out.

27. "Can I have seconds?"

No, we've gone over this: no seconds.

28. "Who's the best dancer at the camp? Miss Sam!"

I mean my rendition of the Macarena is fairly spectacular.

29. "Miss Sam, you're gonna be the greatest teacher ever."

And now I remember why I am a camp counselor and why I want to be a teacher.