If you've ever traveled for over five hours on an airplane you know the true struggles of flights. If you've been on a flight for over 12 hours, you really understand the struggles of flying and are constantly wondering when teleportation is going to be an option. No one truly has fun on long flights, and anyone that says they have is lying to you.
1. Do we get free food?
Also when? Because I want the free food.
2. Do we get free food? When do we get snacks?
I'm kind of hungry, but not hungry enough to buy anything. I definitely expect a bag of pretzels, though.
3. What's that smell?
It's probably just that plane smell. I hope it's just that plane smell.
4. Should I read or watch Netflix?
I have so many hours to kill and I should read, but I did just download some shows on Netflix. Let's be real, we're all probably going to just be watching Netflix.
5. I really need to go to the bathroom.
But I really don't want to have to squeeze out of this seat and disturb everyone. Also, the bathroom is tiny and that's kind of terrifying when you're flying thousands of feet above the ground.
6. This seat is really small.
I have no room. This really sucks. Why do TV shows always make it look like planes are spacious?
7. I could use some sleep.
I don't want to be tired when I get there especially since it's technically night there but it's afternoon back home so I'm not actually tired. But, I should sleep. I'm probably not going to sleep.
8. Oh my god, do I smell?
Please tell me it's just the plane.
9. How much longer until we get there?
It honestly feels like we're never going to get there and I'm just gonna have to settle for living on this plane for the rest of my life.
10. How much was the first class ticket and why didn't I buy it?
I feel like it's definitely worth it. You get space and a better seat. I'll try to remember next time, but I probably won't.
11. Can the person in front of me put their seat up a little?
The TV is 2 inches in front of my face and it's hard to watch or do anything with their chair all the way back.
12. How bad do I look right now?
How do people look cute on flights? I probably look like I haven't showered or seen the light of day for a week. That's what it feels like, at least.
13. Is that smell me?
It has to be. I hope the people around me can't smell it.
14. I really should do something to make the time go faster.
But the seat in front of me is too far back so I can't get my laptop out or anything.
15. Where are we?
Are we above water or land? Are we even going the right way?
16. What do I do if we crash?
How am I supposed to get out of this seat? I'm so far away from any of the exits. I might really live out the rest of my life on this plane!
17. Should I have offered to sit in the emergency row?
It definitely has some perks and I would probably be calmish in an emergency, right?
18. It has all that legroom for no more cost, so why didn't I just volunteer?
I could probably lift the door, plus it's the exit and I would be able to escape quickly! Next time I am definitely volunteering for the emergency row.
19. Man, those people won't stop talking!
You're five rows away and I can hear you perfectly with headphones! Some of us are trying to sleep.
20. What happens if I turn my phone on?
Will we die? Does it actually do anything to the plane? I feel like my tiny phone definitely doesn't have the power to take down an entire plane.
21. How much longer until we get there?
We have to almost be there. Please tell me we're finally almost there.
22. That parent needs to watch their kid.
But let's be real, I'm so thankful I'm not sitting near them.
23. I can't wait to be on the ground again.
The ground is nice and safe. I love being on the ground.
24. When will they develop teleportation?
It'll be so much quicker and easier. Plus, anything (including airplanes) beats taking a boat.
25. Finally, we're landing in 30 minutes.
I should have probably started devising my game plan for getting out of the plane as quickly as possible by now.
26. Wait! Where did I put my bag again?
It wasn't above me, but was it in front or behind me?
27. Oh god, I do smell!
And I look terrible, what a scam.