26 Tweets That Will Make Any Dog Owner Laugh

26 Tweets That Will Make Any Dog Owner Laugh

If I have a choice to be with a human or my dogs, I always choose my dogs.

We all love our dogs and they have quirks that just make us love them more. Their personalities shine so bright and they know just how to get us owners wrapped around their little paws. These tweets are guaranteed to make you laugh because your dog does the exact same thing! Here are 25 tweets that explain what being a dog owner is really like!

1. The guilty face and the next question: "What did you do?"

You know the look all too well. You walk in and the ears are down and they run to their beds. It's always shredded trash. Always.

2. "Hoozagoodboy! You are! Yes, you are!"

Your dogs know they are good. They never doubt because you tell them every day how special they are to you.

3. When someone whips out their dogs pictures so you bring out yours and all of a sudden it's a contest of who has the cutest dog.

Clearly, it's your babies. I mean, look at this personality and pure love for his mommy.

4. They make friends with everyone and anyone because THEY ARE JUST THE MOST LOVING SOULS IN THE WORLD AND HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT LOVE THEM?!?

*Takes deep breath* My bad, I get worked up from HOW MUCH I LOVE DOGS.

5. I want them to learn something so...Discovery Channel? But Animal Planet just seems right and gives them diverse animal interaction...

You don't want them to be bored and lonely, while you're gone. Sometimes, you put soap operas on so they can have some drama in their life. At other times, you let them watch Disney movies because they are just tiny babies, who need the joy of Lion King or Zootopia.

6. The lengths you go to so you can get the perfect dog picture are vast and kinda scary.

You've bribed your dogs. #noshame

7. Their curiosity and gentleness is so sweet and adorable that sometimes your body literally can't handle it.


8. DILP. Ruff said.

Must pet all of the dogs.

9. We all know that dogs are nicer than cats.

We all know cats are the supreme assholes. We love cats for their...wait for it...cattiness. *buh dum, tsss* But dogs are the assholes who aren't smart enough to realize they're assholes. Does that make sense?

10. But MOM, this is my child! Accept your fur grandchildren!

Dogs aren't simply pets. Oh no, dogs are FAMILY. Once a fur mom, always a fur mom.

11. Like tiny humans are cute and all, BUT OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A DOG!

"Tell me all about your child!" "Oh my son is fiv-" "NO! Gosh." "Your fur child, lady."

12. Awe, sweetie, whachya got there? Wait, what IS that? Is that what I think it is? OMG. DROP IT! DROP IT NOW!!!

In the winter, it's frozen poop. In the summer, it's warm fresh poop. Any other time, it's unidentified God knows what.

13. The scandalous behavior can be hard to handle.

Dogs love to spread and show off everything they got going on. They aren't ashamed of their bodies and they let their owners know it!

14. They are so picky unless it's them eating poop or puke, then they don't care.

When my dog's food was discontinued, it was like the world ended. We tried at least four other brands before we got a dog food from the same company that used to make their old kind. But in the same week we tried the other brands, my dogs kept eating their own poop and puke. Like, excuse me? Are you guys for real?

15. The dog won. Always.

Or wiping your dogs ass...they won. Sometimes my dog gets constipated and I have to chase her around the yard and wipe her ass. I wish I was kidding but it's the moment I knew she owned me, not the other way around.

16. They are always so happy when you get home, it's like it was years since you saw them last.

You will always come back. Come hell or high water.

17. No one should interrupt cuddle time.

You love being the big spoon.

18. People are so NAH. Dogs are so YAS.

Rushes towards person: "Hey! How are yo--"


People suck, their dogs don't.

19. Dogs take up almost the whole bed...even small dogs.

I have two chihuahuas and the both are SUCH bed hogs. I can only imagine what it is like to have big dogs that sleep in the bed.

20. The fake throw and subsequent look of betrayal...

...or joy. My dogs aren't that smart so they are still so happy and excited to play, even though I faked them out.

21. Sometimes they tend to be a little discriminatory towards cats.

Even dogs can be political and have their allegiances. Sadly, they are wrong but the doggie government is working towards building better relations with cats.

22. Those eyes...so alluring.

No one can resist those big brown eyes. You melt in their paws like butter.

23. You don't need human friends but you do need dog friends.

Which would you choose? We all know dogs are a woman/man's best friend.

24. They love tanning! They are so cute.

They could lay in the sun for hours. I have to pull them away in fear they will be dehydrated.

25. Remember our WHOLE conversation we had about this?

We all have full on conversations with our dogs and even imagine that they answer us back. Don't lie, you know you do it.

26. They know it's them because you love them so much, you make it obvious.

Who's a good boy/girl? Every dog because they are all precious to someone. My babies are my life and I love getting a chance to bond with other owners and their dogs. If I have a choice to be with a real human or my dogs, I always choose my dogs. And I am sure you would too!


I mean, just look at these sweet hearts.

Whoever owns these babies, cherish them. And cherish your babies. Give them an extra hug and a kiss today.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels.com

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strong, addictive, and oh so bittersweet

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Love is like alcohol: addictive, dangerous, pleasurable, strong, sweet, you pick how you like it

Love is like alcohol, some would do anything for it, can’t live without it
something to keep the mind split, afraid to commit to the taste, the feeling, the liability of an uncontrolled substance of emotions

Love is like alcohol, forbid it, shun it, a stream of fire flowing down your lungs, encompassing your heart, causing nothing but pain with a euphoria to subside the dysphoria of possible bad endings

Love is like alcohol, lose all inhibitions, mind and body in different conditions and positions, disregarding the emissions of warning signals telling you to run

Love is like alcohol, not everyone can handle it and not everyone likes it, losing your mind, losing the ability to control exactly what you do, because they say love drives you mad, an uncontrollable desire to please and be pleased

Love is like alcohol, some lightweight to the bait of the simple taste of a conscious sedate to the world of hurt, too easily becoming inert to reality, too much too quickly leaving you drunk on a feeling of being free, captive of nothing more than wanting to be adored

Love is like alcohol, a learned and built up tolerance to the physique of a bottle promising nothing but to throttle the sense of reticence, afraid of allowing someone the ability to dissipate the hostility built over years of messy nights and hurtful mornings  

Love is like alcohol, a stumble of words contorted by hesitation and muttering, a burning in your throat unable to stop the notes of a desperate anecdote leaving you susceptible to the imperceptible repercussions of the regurgitation of too many swallowed bottles filled with words

Love is like alcohol, a searing sensation, an adjuration from your kidney, no, your heart, to stop with the whiskey, a euphemism for the danger of the recoil of one too many long nights

Love is like alcohol, something not to be abused but too often mis and overused, it's not something to get tired of, the night it becomes boring you'll go exploring for something new to addict to

Love is like alcohol, guard your heart, take it in sips

Love is like alcohol, everyone reacts differently, some accept it gently, open to the possibility of  affability, something making them forget their friability, others lose control, digging each time a bigger hole to escape from

Love is like alcohol, an all encompassing, all consuming, shaped to how you make it, brewed to your preference with plenty of things to reference to get it how you like, don't make it a mistake of the night, and remember, it’ll take a couple of tries to get right 

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New Jersey school board doesn’t care about kids. 

Sometimes I guess you’re better off not saying a word. 

To whom it may concern, 

  I am a 15 year old girl. I have many hopes in dreams for my future and career. I prosper to go to NYU and major in Journalism. When I go to school everyday i’m in an unsafe environment. Since the first week of school I started to get called fat and ugly. I stood up for myself and was threatened to get jumped. I had screen shots of proof that she told me she was going to jump me and her texting the soccer team asking girls if they were willing to jump me with her. Through the 5 months of school i would like to believe i have been to guidance and the office more than i have been in class. They pry on my attention and my friends. If you think going to the office would make it stop you have false intentions. They make that one of there many targets as they mock me. For a while i couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror and want to be alive. They tell me to cry about my problems to my dead father. The deny everything they say even with screen shots and recordings. The school board finally decided to do something after 4 fist fights in a row happened. I get told by the principal that this is my fault and I should have never stood up for myself in the first place. I get followed home from school, they drive by my house. All I have proof of, yet they don’t know when enough is enough. They laugh and get detentions. Every time my dog barks i’m uncertain if it’s just someone driving by or if it is them. You may think that I am over dramatic, of course it’s not them but maybe one day it might me. And who’s from stopping me from kicking there ass? I would love too, but with NYU being so expensive; I need those scholarships. I love to learn,in fact i’m the only one who really answers questions. Now I sulk in my seat and flee when the bell rings. I go to therapy and try my hardest to love myself again for I am broken and don’t know what to do with myself. My mother, she cries as she sees this all unfold and my teachers, had a special meeting so they could learn about the situation and what would happen if they went after me or one of my friends. Being escorted to the bathroom, not feeling safe in a building where I am there to learn and get my education to do something with my life. Yet the school shrugs it off. 

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