We’ve all been the optimistic student when registering for classes. We think that if we register for the 8 A.M. it will somehow make us more motivated and academically edgy, you know, since we are financially obligated to wake up early and be productive. This sounds so nice and realistic in our heads, but the reality is that an 8 A.M. class will not make you more motivated or edgy or productive.
An 8 A.M. makes you tired with food craving and a non-existent attention span.
8 A.M. classes make you so freaking tired and unproductive while simultaneously giving you a caffeine problem, yet we take them anyway and we all struggle through virtually the same process every single morning. The ladies have a slightly different struggle when it comes to early rising academics:
1. Sets the alarm for super early so you can get productive and prepared for the day ahead.
So ambitious for someone who stayed up until 1 A.M. social media trolling and watching conspiracy theories.
2. Laying in bed for 5-30 minutes contemplating on how much longer you can sleep in without completely negating your plans to be a cute and functional human.
3. “Should I even go?
4. Weighs the odds and decides that since this class costs around $1000 and your GPA matters, you should probably go.
But no makeup.
5. Maybe a little mascara. And some concealer. And dry shampoo.
6. You over-extended your bed time and now you will be hungry in clothes that could easily pass for pajamas.
It’s alright. You may not have had time to pick out an outfit, but girl, you comfy.
7. Sits down in your cold seat and already wants to go back to the warm sanctity of bed.
Today will be a good day. Just keep telling yourself that.
8. "Did I even put on a bra?"
"No… It shall be my freedom day. Sorry 4th of July, but August 29th is taking over.”
9. "CAFFEINE."
-Me, repeatedly to myself
10. *hears food wrapper and immediately scopes out the source*
“She brought a pop-tart… I wonder if it’s blueberry.”
12. Now you’re hangry because pop-tart girl has her life more together than you.
And she also has a pop-tart. And you have nothing except a bad attitude and a cute notebook. At least you have a cute notebook.
13. “How does every large group of sorority girls find the time to get coffee together and still make it to class in time?”
– Me, and everyone else, to ourselves
14. The professor walks in and forces you to squint at the screen projection, but you can’t think about the lecture because you want a bagel, a vanilla latte, and a nap.
15. *checks clock* “It’s 8:03… [insert mental cussing here]”
16. You’ve not listened to a single piece of the lecture because you’re thinking about caffeinated drinks, hash browns, and how much you regret taking a class this early.
17. “Please, for the love of all that is good, please do not call on me because I was not even paying attention. I may actually be in the wrong class. Like, I literally have no idea where I even put my pen.”
18. *silently judges the professor’s fashion choice*
As if you actually have a right to, Miss No Bra and Wrinkled T-Shirt
19. Currently envious of the kid asleep in the back of the room
20. *Checks Clock*
“I have 6 more minutes until I can hit the food court. Ayyyeee”
21. Misses the assignment because you can’t stop thinking about what you want to order.
This is very, very important.
22. Asks some random guy what the homework was because you really weren’t capable of paying attention to anything except pop-tart girl, the professor’s terrible pants suit, and how tired you are.
23. “I AM NEVER DOING THIS TO MYSELF AGAIN. I WILL GO TO BED EARLY AND WAKE UP EARLY.”
*11:48 PM*
24. “Well time to set the alar— wait – A PAGE FOR MAKEUP TUTORIALS FOLLOWED ME ON THE GRAM”
*1:19 AM*
