What if I told you I was the sole reason the Dunkin' Donuts franchise is still running? Not really, but you know what I mean. Dunkin' is my breakfast, a daily staple in my diet, and even though I've tried to cut back...there's no way I can cut it out completely.
Here's 25 signs you're as addicted to Dunkin' Donuts as I am.
1. As soon as you speak your order at your local DD, they know it's you.
They know your voice, what time of day you come, and aren't surprised if they see you a second time. Sometimes you'll get a, "You're early today!" Or a, "What, no work today?"
2. You know your total, in exact change, before you pull around.
$4.49, thank you very much.
3. When you stray from your traditional order, they notice.
"Switchin' it up today, huh?" Where you then have to explain that it's your second of the day...or Pumpkin. I always switch it up for Pumpkin.
4. You've budgeted an allowance for Dunkin'.
Yes, my household budget includes $134 for Dunkin' Donuts a month. Please don't judge me.
5. When your DD is unavailable, you turn to more lowly and depressing sources of caffeine intake (ie. Redbull or Starbucks).
It's just not the same. At that point, getting your caffeine fix is more of a chore than a religious experience.
6. There's nothing better than that first sip of your favorite brew.
It's like heaven, home, and happiness all in one. Orgasmic, really.
7. When you're going on vacation, the first thing you do is Google the nearest Dunkin' Donuts and make sure it's within walking distance from where you're staying.
If there are none, you are a miserable bitch for the remainder of vacation and make other less attractive caffeine fix/coffee arrangements.
8. You know if they got your order right the second they hand it to you, based on color alone.
Dark? That's unsweetened and I know I asked for sweetened because I drink it every day; take it back.
9. You've gotten something for free.
Whether they forgot to charge you for the almond milk or the turbo shot, they've let it slide because they know you'll be back tomorrow. Maybe they even like you so much they've given you yours for free.
10. You've bought something to commemorate your DD obsession.
It may be a travel mug or an annual commitment to Pumpkin K-cups, but you've definitely bought some merchandise.
11. You have a favorite season that highly correlates to your Dunkin' seasonal flavor of choice.
I love Pumpkin. I love fall because it means Pumpkin. Maybe yours is Christmas; have you tried the Peppermint Mocha?
12. You've argued vehemently the superiority of Dunkin' over Starbucks against the haters.
We don't go there. We also don't let our friends go there.
13. It's your go-to chosen gift from family members for special events, and they know it.
Bring on the Dunkin' gift cards, Momma.
14. You've been to every local DD and you know which ones will get your order right and which ones to avoid at all costs.
Denise hikes up their prices and Lake Ave employees are just a bitch who never get it right.
15. You plan your days around when and where you'll get your Dunkin'.
2:15 everyday, like clockwork. Unless I'm working a double; then I get it twice a day! Yippee!
16. Anyone you work with/interact with knows if they're going to Dunkin' they better be asking you what you want.
If they go to DD without asking what you want, you take it as a personal slight.
17. If someone else wants Dunkin', they know you've got the hook up and will deliver it to wherever you're meeting up.
My boss texts me her order when she knows I'm coming into work.
18. You have a collection of Dunkin' Donuts coffee cups and straws in your car.
And your friends make sure to let you know just how frustrated they are about it every time they get in the passenger side.
19. You've considered taking on DD as a part time job just to get free coffee.
On the real though, who wants to wake up at 4:30 am on a Saturday? *Decides against it.*
20. You've memorized the orders of your other Dunkin' addict friends, because you bring them coffee whenever you get anything.
Medium iced caramel latte, skim, no whip, extra caramel. Medium iced pumkin with almond milk. Medium iced caramel swirl coffee, two creams, two sugars. It's a gift, really, remnants of my incredible memory from working at Abbott's.
21. Whenever someone picks you up to go somewhere, they know almost before you ask that the first words out of your mouth are going to be, "Can we stop at Dunkin'?"
If the answer is no, you're jumping out of the car while it's rolling, soooo...
22. You've been late at *least* once (and realistically probably a lot more than once) because you will willingly wait in any DD line once you've decided you need your coffee more than you need to be on time.
And of course you need your coffee more than you need to be on time.
23. If you show up without Dunkin' in hand, people notice.
People notice, and they are thoroughly confused. "No Dunkin' today?" No. I overslept my oversleeping threshold and absolutely had no time to run to Dunkin'. Please don't remind me. The pain is too great.
24. A Dunkin' Donuts coffee in hand is the greatest armor a girl could ever ask for.
Have something to say? Bitch, try me.
25. There is no purer love, than your love for Dunkin' Donuts. And this is you when you know it's in your near future:
You've never loved a boyfriend this much.
It's OK, you're not alone. And all of us other Dunkin' Donuts addicts? We salute you. Welcome to the club. We've got iced coffee.
