March is my birth month, and this year I've turned 24. Within the first four years of my twenties, I've learned some hard life lessons. Here's to 24, in celebration of living almost a fourth of my life.
1. Get over yourself.
Millennials have heard this over, and over, and over. It's been beat into our brains since we've become consenting adults. The truth is that it's true.
2. Your life isn't supposed to be put together.
We're just starting out. Humble yourself. There's nothing wrong with taking a job you think you're too good for. No one is too good for a paying job.
3. Your parents are right. Usually.
Listen to them. They won't be here for long, and they're most likely setting into the beginning of their last act.
4. Put the damn phone down.
Your life is happening all around you. Do you really want to miss something because you were too busy looking at some fan-fiction? Talk to people, like seriously, talk to people. We existed before the iPhone, and we'll exist after. Maybe.
5. Your frame of reference is not universal.
There are almost eight billion people on this planet. That means eight billion different points of view. Eight billion different struggles. Sometimes, people don't mature past egocentrism. Don't be one of those people.
6. Learn the difference between a friend and an acquaintance.
Friends, even if you only have one or two, are what make life bearable. Learning the difference between a friend and an acquaintance will save you hours of grief, frustration, and unhappiness.
7. Say "No," sometimes.
Saying no will give you freedom in a different way from saying "Yes." Saying "No," enables you to make your own decisions.
8. Drive yourself to social events.
Or any event, really. That way, you can decide when you want to leave. This has saved me so many times. Do it.
9. Check your health.
Most 20-somethings don't know the status of their physical health. Go to the doctor, get a check up, and see if there's anything you can need to change. It can literally be life saving. And remember: health is not always being fit and working out.
10. Build a healthy relationship with food.
You're getting older. Your metabolism is slowing. Develop a relationship with food that will serve your body. Everyone is different, so there's no shame in your eating habits.
11. Don't ever convince yourself that you're not good enough.
Everyone is good enough. Its a decision that you alone have to make.
12. Find a mentor.
Everyone needs someone to help them through this mess that is life. Find a mentor with a strong sense of self. A mentor that doesn't mind lending you a hand when times get tough, but understands where you are in your life.
13. Let it go, girl.
Your past is getting further and further away from you. Drop the past and move forward - you don't have time to worry about that thing that happened when you were 20. Your life is starting. Or has started. Let it go.
14. Seriously develop your sense of trust.
If you haven't already picked up on the signs that make a person untrustworthy - do it. Really listen to people. Watch people. They're telling you everything you need to know, and they don't even know it themselves.
15. Rid yourself of "squad."
You may have a friend group that you hangout with exclusively. Stop. The idea of "squad" is juvenile and it only puffs up your ego. Don't get me wrong - having a group of friends that just get you is great, but you shouldn't cut everyone else off because of how comfortable you are.
16. Stop apologizing.
Do that thing. Don't do that thing. Do whatever you want and don't apologize for it. Tell that boy that you like him and don't feel that least bit sorry about it. Tell someone no and don't apologize. Don't apologize for drinking a little too much. This is your time, and it is limited.
17. Explore.
Go places. You're getting to a point now where it may be getting more and more difficult to hop in your car and go. Take a weekend trip. Use Airbnb. Don't be sedentary. Put yourself out there.
18. Figure out your aesthetic.
You're almost an adult. An adult who has style. Figure out what your aesthetic is and invest in it. Invest in a wardrobe. You don't have time for shorts and a t-shirt anymore.
19. Stay informed.
The worst thing you can do as a young person is being ignorant of what is going on in the world. It will make you look like a child. Watch the news. Read the news. Follow the news.
20. Keep your car clean.
Seriously. Do it. The amount of stress that you won't be feeling because your car is clean is amazing. And, you won't look gross and disorganized in front of your friends. Your car will last longer, and look and smell better.
21. Find a space where you can mentally unwind.
This has been a very special lesson for me. I'm lucky enough to have access to several spaces where I can go to relax. If you can find one space you can go to to unwind and really think out some issues, it will save your mind. Find a spot to sit and think it out.
22. Develop your palate. Learn how to throw an actual party.
Become a foodie. Find out what things taste like. You don't want to be embarrassed when you go to a "grown-up party" and don't know what anything is or how it is prepared. Find out what wine you like and what wine you don't like. Learn how to pair wine. The least you can do is learn how to be a good host (head-of-the-house/host at the head of the table, distinguished guests at their side in order of importance, hostess/partner at the end of the table).
23. Unfollow/unfriend people who no longer serve you.
If you follow someone that annoys you - unfollow them. It's that simple. We can just as easily rid ourselves of people that we don't like today that one could have 30 years ago.
24. Do not waste your time on people who show you that they mean no good for you.
Like the great Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them; the first time." They know themselves more than you do, so believe them. When someone shows you who they are - either actively or passively - believe them. If someone treats your wrongly, or does something that you don't agree with, enough so that you don't want to associate with them, rid yourself of them.
I've still got a lot to learn. But I'm learning from my life. And I'm moving forward.
