THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE IS A PUBLIC SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT. IF YOU DO DRIVE RECKLESSLY, PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE AND THINK ABOUT HOW YOU ARE AFFECTING THE PEOPLE THAT YOU ALMOST RUN OVER. (ALL OF THESE THOUGHTS ARE THOUGHTS THAT I HAVE ACTUALLY HAD BEFORE OR AFTER LEAPING TO SAFETY).
1. Is that a car?
Sometimes cars seem to come out of nowhere.
2. It's not that close.
I still have plenty of time to cross the road, right?
3. Uh-oh.
Wrong.
4. It's going very fast.
Sometimes cars seem to be going much faster than they really should be.
5. I'm going to die.
Sometimes I am too much of a rebel to stop crossing the street.
6. That car is going to kill me.
I know that I am short, but they have to see me walking across the road...
7. I should move out of the way.
They either don't see me or they don't care.
8. But as a pedestrian, I have the right of way.
#YOLO
9. I'm going to stand my ground.
#RememberTheAlamo
10. Why are you driving so fast?
Do speed limits mean nothing in Tennessee? It's a speed limit, not a speed suggestion!
11. I'm going to die.
I should have gotten two pieces of cake at Cobo today.
12. It will be for a good cause.
Maybe that bill about speed humps in SGA will actually get passed if I die?
13. Goodbye, Mom.
Thanks for always being there for me.
14. Tell my cat that I will miss him.
Max, you were always my favorite.
15. If I survive, I won't have to go to class.
Or take that test on Thursday.
16. I won't have to pay for college, either.
Just kidding, a lawsuit wouldn't be able to pay for a private college education.
17. Please hit me.
I dare you.
18. The pain is worth it.
Money and freedom? Yes please.
19. But if I die, I would really miss my cat.
Quickly weighing the pros and cons.
20. Please don't hit me.
Cats always win.
21. You aren't going to stop, are you?
Oh my gosh, you really are going to hit me.
22. Fine, I'll move.
I'm not moving because you have the right to drive recklessly, I'm moving because I love my cat.
23. WERE YOU ON YOUR PHONE?!?!
YOU ALMOST KILLED ME FOR A SNAPCHAT.
Please drive safely. This is a college campus. I would like to live long enough to pay off my debt from college (aka I want to live to be 150). This has been a PSA. Thank you.