21 Thoughts Your Barista Wishes They Could Say Out Loud

21 Thoughts Your Barista Wishes They Could Say Out Loud

We may steam your lattes with a smile on your face, but what are we actually thinking?

Are you one of those customers that make baristas cringe? Or are you one of our favorites?

Here are the 21 coffee faux pas and thoughts that every barista wishes they could scream about on a daily basis.

1. It’s ESpresso. Not EXpresso.

2. Your caramel macchiato isn’t actually a macchiato.

And it doesn’t even have caramel in it. It’s just an upside-down vanilla latte with caramel drizzle.

3. Non-fat milk and two percent milk taste the same.

4. I guarantee that getting a venti mocha frappe with non-fat milk won’t make any difference to your health.

5. Whipped cream is barely any calories.

So again, you’re not really cutting much out.

6. Mocha = Chocolate.

If you get something with mocha, it’s going to taste like chocolate. Nothing can be changed about this. Sorry, but no, we cannot make a mocha latte without chocolate.

7. You ordered a venti frappe JUST for the sprinkles on top? And now you want a refund because we’re out of sprinkles?

Okay… because that’s logical.

8. It’s not our fault if we’re out of a syrup or ingredient.

I don’t need your sass.

9. It’s also not my fault that I work at a Barnes & Noble café that sells Starbucks.

We're not a Starbucks.You can yell at me all you want. That doesn’t change the fact that you’re standing in a Barnes & Noble with a sign that says “Barnes & Noble Café”. We can’t take you gift cards.

10. No, coffee and espresso are not the same thing.

11. Yes, I know I ask a lot of questions.

But I’ll get in trouble if I don’t, so please just smile and be patient.

12. Don’t be offended when I ask if you want room for cream in your coffee.

You want your coffee as black as your soul. I get it. But some people have taste buds.

13. I know you’re going to take the lid off anyway, but we still need to put it on.

It’s policy.

14. I know it’s expensive.

I don’t set the prices. I make the drinks.

15. No, I can’t put in extra espresso or pumps of syrup AFTER you’ve already paid.

And demanding that is just a jerk move.

16. If you’re a regular, I love you and appreciate your existence.

17. I know when you’re giving me a fake name.

We literally only need your name for the cup. I’m not trying to steal your identity. So stop looking at me like I just asked for your for SSN.

18. Staring at me while I’m making your drink won’t make me move faster.

19. If you’re not at a Starbucks, don’t use Starbucks lingo.

I've worked at another coffee shop before this one. It's really annoying.

20. I only have two hands, and I can’t mark cups for five orders at once. Slow down.

21. Please just be nice! It’s only coffee.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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8 Reasons Girls Who Love Tequila Are Better

Because if she can handle tequila, she can handle you too.

There are all kinds of alcohol stereotypes out there but the one associated with tequila is probably the worst: tequila makes you crazy. But if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that women who drink tequila are one-of-a-kind.

Whether it's loving or fighting, you'll never find anyone who does it better than a girl who just straight up loves tequila, and here are a few reasons why that is.

1. She's independent

A girl who drinks tequila is probably the same girl who has absolutely no problem telling it like it is. She knows what she wants and goes after it.

2. She doesn't care what you or anyone else thinks

Oh, you have a problem with me taking shots and having a good time? Well, get over it! Bartender, a shot with salt and a lime please!

3. Always dancing

Tequila is an 'upper' so instead of sitting at the bar doing nothing, let's dance! Let's get moving!

4. There is never a dull moment

Speaking of dancing, a girl who drinks tequila is always down for a good time. Whether it's going on an adventure or seeing who can take the most shots, a tequila girl is always down to party.

5. While everyone else is starting to get sleepy, she has all the energy

Like I said, tequila is an 'upper' so while the other girls at the bar are starting to feel groggy and sad, she's all over the place having fun and partying on the dancefloor.

6. She's stronger than the girl crying over a vodka cranberry at the bar.

Sad over a breakup? Don't go for the vodka... Tequila will make you feel better in no time! Plus you can challenge the hot guys at the bar to a shot taking contest.

7. Tequila is healthy for you

Tequila is a probiotic, so some tequila a day keeps the doctor away. Yay for shots!

8. She can hold her own when it comes to alcohol

Any girl who can shoot some shots at the bar all day and night can handle alcohol, which means she can handle herself too. You won't have to deal with her constant breakdowns and mood swings because she will be too busy ordering more shots.

Cover Image Credit: Whiskey Riff

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10 Reasons To Start Vaping In 2019 If You Haven't Yet

"It's safer than cigarettes"


Vaping is the rage these days among adolescents and college students. Here are some great reasons to start!

1. It's what all the cool kids do


I wish that I could be like the cool kids

2. It damages your lungs


It's not like you need these to breathe or anything

3. It pollutes the air


Let's pollute the air even more!

4. Nicotine addiction

Just the thing I want to be addicted to

5. "Delicious" flavors


Would you prefer mango flavor or the cancer flavor?

6. The Juul looks like a USB


Your parents won't suspect a thing

7. Inhale metals like nickel and lead


Yummmmmm. Lead poisoning isn't a thing.

8. More likely to get infections


9. You'll eventually want cigarettes


And you'll make your lungs worse

10. Lung and mouth cancer


Who doesn't want cancer

In case you couldn't tell, this was very sarcastic. If you want all of these things, then go ahead, start vaping. But you should know what you're getting yourself into and be prepared for the consequences.

If you already vape, I mean no disrespect and I'm not trying to hate on you, but you should seriously stop. Whatever you think is a good reason for vaping really is not a good enough reason to damage your body.

Stop vaping. And if you don't vape, don't start. Just don't.

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