1. They ARE your "baby."
"Baby? Why yes, I do have one. Don't mind his four legs and furry body. Yes, I am the biological parent."
2. When they look at you with those eyes.
The way a child looks at their mom/dad with those big, gorgeous eyes gets you every time.
3. You show them themselves in front of the mirror.
"Look! It's you!" Their reflection is very important for them to see, they must understand how perfect they are.
4. You tried kenneling them for half an hour one night and ever since they've slept in your bed.
Remember before you brought them home when you said they would sleep in their kennel at night? Good times, haha. All of 30 minutes that lasted.
5. There is an unspoken agreement between you and your dog over who gets which part of the bed.
So they may or may not take up the entire bed. It's fine, everything's fine.
6. The lines get blurred of who owns who.
Some days you take care of your pup, and some days your pup takes care of you.
7. You're the only one who knows what your dog wants at any given moment.
We'll just call you the dog whisperer from now on.
8. They come everywhere with you.
Of course, you're not going to go anywhere without them. Everywhere you go, they go.
9. You don't question their irrational fears.
So what they're afraid of tile floors? That's perfectly rational. Tile floors are pretty terrifying.
10. You won't drink after a human but you'll happily share your snacks with the pup.
Germs are everywhere!!! Except in the mouth of my puppy. He is the most sanitary dog on earth. No germs there. Definitely not.
11. The best toys are toys bigger than their face.
Their favorite toy just so happens to be double their size. And it's....ADORABLE!
12. They go to the groomers more often than you get your own hair done.
Who has time to get blonde highlights in their human hair when fluffy has a 9:00 am appointment every Thursday to have a deep conditioning?
13. Before going anywhere you research whether or not dogs are allowed there.
"Can dogs go on cruise ships?" I may be guilty of typing this into my own Google search engine. Dog isn't allowed? Fine. I didn't want to go anyway.
14. Your bio on Instagram reads "dog mom."
Single dog mom who don't need no man, and DANG proud of it.
15. You show pictures/videos of them to everyone.
"This is him in the bathtub. This is him sleeping. This is him getting his nails done." "Oh, you didn't ask?" "Here... let me show you him swimming, and eating, and rolling over."
16. You low key are known for sneaking your dog in places.
I may or may not have an ongoing reputation for sneaking my dog into restaurants.
17. You sometimes (all the time) forget that they are not human.
"It's just a dog?" "DOG? Did you just assume his species?"
18. Holiday photos include the dog, of course.
Family photos aren't complete unless someone has four legs in the photo.
19. It's all fun and games until it's 5 a.m. and all your puppy wants to do is have fun and play games.
What is it about the middle of the night that makes it so appealing to be wide awake and shaking their tails?
20. Your Facebook profile pic at one time or another has undoubtedly been a selfie of you and your dog.
Don't @ me on this. I am not ashamed.
21. You assign grandparents, aunts, uncles, and godparents to your dog.
Mom still hates it when I call her "Granny" in front of my little fur-ball. I just don't get it. How can you deny your own grandchild?