21 George Carlin Lines That Will Change Your View Of The World
Start writing a post

21 George Carlin Lines That Will Change Your View Of The World

George Carlin can always make you stop and think.

21 George Carlin Lines That Will Change Your View Of The World
George Denis

George Carlin always loved words, and he specialized in the art of linguistic manipulation. (Before entering comedy, he actually considered becoming a linguist.) By reordering a common sentence or combining several unrelated words, Carlin could create hysterically new and fresh views of everyday statements and beliefs. After perusing pages of George Carlin's jokes, I selected a few of my personal favorites...The world definitely misses his realistic and sarcastic societal view.

1. Is there another word for "synonym?"

2. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

3. Would a "fly" without wings be called a "walk?"

4. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

5. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

6. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

7. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

8. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

9. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

10. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

11. When someone says, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put in your "two cents," what happens to the other penny?

12. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

13. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

14. "I am" is said to be the shortest sentence in the English language... perhaps "I do" is the longest sentence.

15. What hair color do they put on the driver licenses of bald men?

16. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

17. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said that, if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

18. Could it be that all of those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

19. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

20. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Hispanic Heritage Month

A lil history and a few thoughts.

Dianeliz Gonzalez

Hispanic Heritage month is here, and we are ready to celebrate!

Keep Reading... Show less

My September Faves

Here are some of my faves during the month of September


Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

9 Things Tall People Are Tired Of Hearing

Yep. The weather is fine up here... I've totally never heard that before.


Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being tall. Sometimes I even wish I was taller. One of the downsides of being tall however, is having to put up with ridiculous questions and statements. I can assure that all tall people are tired of being asked what the weather is like "up here", but here are a few other things we don't want to hear anymore.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

30 Signs You're From Wisconsin

When you say Wisconsin, you've said it all!


We truly love it here in the Badger State. Here are a few things Wisconsinites can relate to.

Keep Reading... Show less

Five Types Of People In Fall

From yummy pumpkin spice lattes to scary movies, fall has it all and then some.

Destination Logan County Illinois

Oh fall, the most marvelous time of year...right? Every approaches fall differently, some pumpkin spice-tastically and some not so enthusiastically. We can't all be Autumn lovers, so here are five types of people in fall. Grab a cup of hot coca, sit back, and enjoy.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments