8 Things I've Learned In 2018

1. Great friends come at unexpected times

My girlfriend and I never really hung out with anyone...like ever. I think for a long time that was because of the whole "completely in the closet" thing. We didn't really have the same group of friends when we started hanging out (except for our Lacrosse team) so I think that as her and I became more serious we just spent a lot of time together, and once she graduated high school, we didn't really have friends that we both felt comfortable hanging out with together?

Luckily, we built a friendship with two incredible ladies less than a year ago and they have really opened our eyes. As much as we still love our time together, we got that feeling of having friends back and it's been nothing short of fun.

2. Long weekends make for some of the best memories

I'm not sure if it's because you feel like your time is limited or because you truly appreciate the little things as you get older (probably both), but we've enjoyed 3 long-weekend trips this year (with another one coming up) and they have been a couple of my favorite trips I've ever taken. On those weekends I completely cherished the moments as they came and they are memories I will never forget. I am so incredibly lucky to have the ability to take trips like these. And even luckier to have someone I love experiencing them with.

3. Work hard, reap rewards

At the beginning of this year I was working as many hours and as hard as I ever have. I was making more money than I ever have and I lost that sense of motivation a bit when I got into a depressive funk. I have been slowly inching my way back to that, knowing what I have to do to get back to this place.

4. Do the things you've always wanted to do

When I first started feeling sad, I knew I needed to find something that was my own. My thing. When I needed an outlet or some alone time, it had to be for me. A decided to [finally] start blog, which came from this idea of finding my own hobby. This was something I thought about starting for a long time but held myself back with shitloads of excuses that I'm so glad I got over.

5. Don't take the good things or people in life for granted

In my dark few months, I became lonely and sad, but now that I'm more aware I also became very selfish. I only thought about my problems, my fears, and the things I was unhappy with. I gave all of that more attention than the things that make me feel safe and happy. I hurt other people and only focused on anything negative; trust me when I tell you it was not hard to see through my bullshit.

6. Surround yourself with people that genuinely care about your well-being

Somehow, through my sad, selfish funk, people stuck around. My unconditionally loving girlfriend, my supportive friends, and my best friend that truly didn't deserve what I put her through. People that actually care about how you are will put up with some tough shit and I am so damn grateful for these people.

7. Sometimes it's okay to not be okay

You are allowed to be sad and confused. You are allowed to feel all of your emotions. I have been an emotional person my entire life. When I tell you I feel shit to my core, it's a DEEP type of feel. To me, it's not okay that I put those closest to me through my shit, but it is okay that I was going through the shit. Life isn't always going to be perfect.

8. When life isn't going how you'd like, check yourself before blaming others

I did a lot of finger-pointing for the last few months. If something didn't go right or I felt frustrated, I blamed someone else if I could. I'm trying to be more mindful about taking a step back and asking myself "what can I do or how can I react differently to change this situation" before pushing the blame on someone else.