Oprah Winfrey: Are you an addict?
Lindsay Lohan: Yeah.
Winfrey: And what is it you are addicted to? What is your drug of choice, or drugs of choice?
Lohan: Alcohol.
Winfrey: Alcohol.
Lohan: Yeah.
Lohan: Because that’s...and that’s...that in the past was a gateway to other things for me, um…
Lohan: I’d never abused----
Winfrey: Other things like?
Lohan: I tried cocaine with alcohol.
Winfrey: That’s when you were arrested for the first time right?
Lohan: Yeah.

An excerpt from Oprah Winfrey and Lindsay Lohan’s famous August 18, 2013 interview, “Oprah’s Next Chapter: Lindsay Lohan”.¹

Few things excite Americans more than the self destruction of pop culture icons. We’ve seen it in the past with Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, and currently, the ever-confused Miley Cyrus. While all of these women have garnered a great deal of media attention for their disastrous meltdowns, one woman earns the prize for most-watched public demise. A heroine for the drug-fueled, boozed-up, catastrophic-chic, party-til-dawn, I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-my-bad-reputation subculture of Millennials, Lindsay Lohan has been spiraling downward since her infamous 2007 DUI/cocaine possession arrest. And we’ve all been eagerly watching, popcorn in hand.

After a night of heavy partying in 2007, Lindsay Lohan was found driving under the influence of alcohol where, upon searching her, the arresting officer found a small amount of cocaine in her possession. May 26, 2007 marks the date the world began watching the starlet lose all control. Five arrests and eight years later, the media still has a spot saved on the front page, just in case Lohan breaks down yet again.

Popular media channels have created a maelstrom of misconceptions surrounding Lohan. When one hears her name thoughts of drug abuse, insane partying, and self-destruction come to mind. This is because Lohan belongs to an elite group of Hollywood stars who all went wild together in 2007. This group also includes Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Nicole Richie. Unsurprisingly, each member of the group had a drug/alcohol/stress/(whatever)-induced public meltdown that year. At the time, Britney Spears was on a path of destruction. She was caught in a series of popular photographs featuring her sloppily exposed vagina, she had a relationship full of turmoil with Hollywood’s biggest joke (Kevin Federline), and she infamously shaved her head bald.²

While Britney was going through the most catastrophic deterioration in recent history, Paris and Nicole ran around uninhibited, acquiring a series of drug and alcohol related charges. After the exploits of the other starlets, Lohan’s single 2007 arrest received the smallest amount of media attention. Because of her membership in this wild gang of girls, Lindsay is harshly stereotyped; in reality, without the influence of Britney, Paris, and Nicole, Lohan never would have been targeted and wouldn’t have earned such a dreadful reputation.

If you really think about it, any one of us could easily turn into Lindsay Lohan, and I’m sure some of you aspire to do just that--I’m sure I did at one point (2012 was a crazy year for me). And, for anybody else who watched all nine episodes of "Living Lohan," with a momager like Dina, who wouldn’t turn to the drink³? Her despairing, yet seductive, collapse of self-restraint was only natural, and I’d be appalled if she never spiraled out of control. And Lindsay’s isn’t the only downfall I so eagerly devoured.

I admittedly have an embarrassing--and at times problematic--fascination with pop stars, bad girls, and seemingly untalented reality heroines⁴ especially when they’re on their worst behavior. I owe this guilty pleasure to the abundance of preteen gossip mags that surrounded me growing up; they practically conditioned all of us early 2000’s tweens--constantly reading about the Hilary Duff/Lindsay Lohan/Aaron Carter⁵ love triangle--to consume trash culture with dogged determination. I know a lot of people look down on those of us who occasionally buy into celebrity scandal, but I think there's an upside to paying attention.

When our childhood heroes, like Britney and Lindsay, lost control and were on their worst behavior, our parents were offered a platform to speak candidly about drug and alcohol abuse⁶. Rather than making comparisons to random drunks, they had a sympathetic character to reference. To see super-cool Lola, from "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen," taking a mugshot was jarring. We all wanted to grow older and become Lola; none of us ever thought we'd turn into Cara's (from the next neighborhood over) weird, alcoholic mom. Getting to talk about former role models helped preteens everywhere realistically analyze the trappings of substance abuse and bad behavior.

All of this isn't to say that Lindsay's DUI saved an entire generation from partying, and Britney's multiple vagina-slips didn't make any of us lengthen our skirts, but they showed us--some of us for the first time--the very real consequences of falling away from grace, into a whole new kind of Hell. So thanks Lindsay, and Britney and Paris and Nicole and everybody else, for showing us who we could become--but mostly for all of the great lunch table conversation you provided us with!

1. Did anybody else watch that and immediately hate Oprah? Can you interrupt a person any more?!
2. Which I thought was fabulous, I mean her new freedom to experiment with wigs was prolific--where would we, as a society, be without the hot pink bob?
3. How fun is that term, “the drink”?! It makes me think of something an alternate-universe, Alcoholic’s-Anonymous version of Don Draper might say: “You need to stay away from the drink, Roger! Do you see what it’s doing to you? To Mona and Joan? Not to mention what it’s doing to the firm!” and then Bert Cooper (RIP) might interject, telling Roger he can still have fun without turning to “the bottle” every waking moment. On second thought, that’s a "Mad Men" I never want to experience. I’d prefer a Don Draper who throws back a rocks glass full of rye whiskey, lights a lucky strike, and then writes a letter to America about how he’s planning on divorcing “the drink” and about the evils of his beloved Canadian Club--all while pouring himself another glass of...well, whatever it is he has left.
4. Love you Kim K!!
5. Gross. Gross, gross, gross--he was never that cute! Tiger Beat and J-14 were constantly obsessing over him, even including multiple posters of his greasy, platinum blonde hair. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of his work (his guest appearance in that episode of Lizzie McGuire was brilliant, he truly deserved an Emmy) but Hillary and Lindsay were hot. What were they doing with him? And furthermore, what was Lindsay doing with Wilmer Valderrama? Some questions will haunt me forever.
6. Because D.A.R.E confused me more than taught me anything.