What even is college?

Sometimes I forget.

Or maybe I just don’t really know how to explain this unexplainably stressful yet weirdly defining time in my life.

Is college just a 4-year impenetrable bubble of people my age who like to sleep, eat, and party just as much as I do? Is it studying and writing papers until your eyeballs fall out? Is it tweeting “I love college” after you go to your very first college party as a freshman?

All of the above, I guess.

There’s something about being in college that makes some really weird activities seem… completely normal.

But I’m not complaining.

The great thing about doing these things in college is that you’re surrounded by a bunch of people who see you do them and, even if they don’t say anything to your face, experience a borderline spiritual “same” every single time.

Because we’ve all been there. We’re all in this together.

In fact, we’re all there right now, doing these 20 things that, quite frankly, just might get us a healthy dose of judgmental side-eye if we did them at any other time in our lives.

1. Sleeping in until 1pm.

2. Rolling out of bed and wearing sweatpants, no matter where you’re going.

3. Waiting until at least 6pm every Saturday night before you even think about starting to get ready.

4. Eating cereal for dinner most nights of the week.

5. Binge watching multiple Netflix series. In one night.

6. And re-watching the same series 3 times over.

7. Having a pair of “going out” shoes that you still wear proudly in public anyway.

8. Drinking coffee at 11pm. Just so you have the energy to finish something you put off until the very last minute.

9. Having a pregame for your pregame.

10. Wearing the same outfit multiple days in a row, because your T/Th fam doesn’t know anything about your MWF life.

11. Calling your mom crying 4 times a day.

12. Spending your Friday nights in the basement of some frat house owned by a few guys you’ve never met before.

13. Showing up at your friends’ doors multiple times a day, completely unannounced.

14. Buying yourself your very own pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream at least once a week.

15. And calling it an “impulse purchase” every single time.

16. Partying on a Tuesday.

17. Or any day of the week, really.

18. Taking naps in the middle of the day, no matter where you are.

19. Contemplating becoming a stripper at least 3 times a week.

20. Not knowing any current events, besides the weather at exactly 8:43am (i.e. the time you have to leave for class tomorrow, obviously.)

I like to think that people would still think I was normal if I slept in a bunk bed and hung cheap Christmas lights up in my room year-round when I’m a 35-year-old college graduate with a real job and a family of my own.

But somehow, I don’t think that would be the case.

Translation: That confused, judgmental side-eye from all my family members at Christmastime would be all too real.

But the good news is, that’s why I’m in college. Not so I can get a quality education. But so I can still wear my “going out” shoes on my Sunday afternoon grocery run to Walmart with at least a little bit of dignity.

Don’t lie. You’ve been there.