20 Things To Do In Your 20s Instead Of Looking For Love

20 Things To Do In Your 20s Instead Of Looking For Love

“Suddenly you’re 21 and you’re screaming along in the car to all the songs you listened to when you were sad in middle school and everything is different but everything is good.”
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Your 20s are a time for self-discovery, global exploration, and plain old messin' around. However, many young adults find that these years can be filled with the societal pressure to settle down with that special someone, soul mate, one true love, or, as I like call them, a fun-sucker. Just kidding (kind of). Anyway, here's a few things that you could try instead of looking for love:

1. Finish school and get a degree.

First and foremost, you should do one of the single, most important things you can do for yourself, especially in this day and age: Go to college. If you're not already in school, find something you're interested in, pursue it, and use it to fuel your future. Whether it's your bachelor's, master's, or even your Ph.D., start and finish it out strong — you'll thank yourself later.

2. Get into the best shape of your life.

Find your inner Kayla Itsines, go on Instagram to get some #fitspo, and whip your butt into shape. Whether it's the conventional eating healthy and exercising a couple times a week, or training for a marathon — go out and do it! Hot yoga and Zumba are also very in trend right now, so go give it a try.

3. Learn to cook.

Chances are you're probably living on your own for one of the first times, so why not learn how to make yourself a decent meal? While Raman noodles and hot pockets are very reliable, Pinterest has some great, easy recipes that don't require *that* much more work, yet they'll taste 10 times better than some pre-made, freezer-burnt cardboard boxed meal.

4. Get a job that you love and work your ass off.

Put that degree to good use and find a job that makes you happy. As the old saying goes, "love what you do, and do what you love." Once you find that, make some good money off of it before you're burdened with even more responsibilities (as impossible as that feels sometimes). Don't overwork yourself, but definitely dedicate a solid amount of time to your job.

5. Travel — anywhere.

Get out and explore the world! Go anywhere you can — abroad and out of the country, to another state, or even just to another city nearby. Go visit a far away friend that you haven't seen in awhile, or go road-trip across the country with the best people you know. Anything counts. Chances are most of us 20-somethings don't have the necessary funds to support one of those Tumblr-esque dream vacations, so don't beat yourself up if "traveling" means something a little less extravagant than a month-long European tour that's bound to make you Insta-famous.

6. Spend time with family.

Family is always there for you (blood is thicker than water) and from personal experience, I can say that I don't see them nearly enough as I should or would like to. Your family is always going to be there for you, so take this time to make it up to them for putting up with your angst-y teenage years. Go to your younger sibling's games and that weird third cousin's wedding, and embrace those moments. And If you can't physically be with your family? Well, don't forget to call — they'll appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

7. Focus on your friends and make some new ones.

Keep the old, the good, and the best friends close. Spend time with them — get Sunday brunch, go mini-golfing, or have a Netflix marathon together. Don't be afraid to bring new people closer, too. Always leave a little room for future friendships.

8. Go to a concert.

Whether it's across the country for Coachella, a one-day thing at a venue nearby, a local artist at the bar across the street, or if it's just an old favorite or a genre you've never even heard of — go out and experience it. Music is good for the soul and can heal in a way that most things can't.

9. Learn to do something new.

Learn how to play the guitar and upload a YouTube video singing along off-key, take a foreign language class, hell, go get your scuba diving license and go for a swim. If there's ever a time to try something you've never tried before, or have always secretly desired to attempt, now is the perfect time to do so.

10. Read and write.

Keep your brain stimulated. Reading and writing can be very therapeutic, in addition to educational. Let your mind escape into a good book or have a cathartic writing session to cleanse yourself of negative thoughts. It'll prove to be more useful than you think.

11. Make mistakes.

Sometimes it takes falling flat on your face to find out what does or doesn't work for you — or if you're anything like me, most of the time it takes a mistake to set you on the right path. Finding yourself requires trial and error. Don't be afraid to eff up every once and a while because everyone knows that one success can come from a thousand failures.

12. Stay out late.

This one might go along well with not being afraid to make mistakes because nothing good comes after midnight. But to reiterate, don't be afraid to make these mistakes! Go out with friends and stay out past your usual bedtime. Enjoy these nights while you still have a fully functioning liver, brain, and metabolism.

13. Catch up on some much-needed Zs.

After staying out late and potentially making some regrettable decisions, you'll definitely need those extra five minutes under the covers. Nothing is more blissful than staying in bed all day or taking that two-hour nap after a long day at work. Indulge in these extra moments of sleep because later down the road, they are going to be few and far between.

14. Get in touch with nature.

Go to the beach for a swim, go to the mountains for a hike or some skiing, or go to the desert (you know, if you're absolutely psycho and have a death wish). Whatever it may be, get off your phone and get outside. Look around and embrace the beauty of the world. Find some inner peace. Why look for love when you can see something just as beautiful all around you?

15. Learn to say "no."

In a generation of people-pleasers, we often aim to impress at our own expense and find ourselves doing things that we really have no desire to be doing. Quit feeling obligated to other people and only do things that you *want* to be doing. Apply this to everything you do, and I promise that you'll find a happiness you've never had before.

16. Love with your whole heart.

Even though you might not be looking for love in another person, you should still love everything you find yourself doing, and loving it with everything you have. Love your friends, your family, your job, and anything else you can. Life is too short to half-ass your way through it. Dedicate yourself to all of the things you love and take this time to find some self-love, too, because how can you be expected to love anything else if you don't love yourself first?

17. Do something absolutely ridiculous.

Do something totally insane. Why? Because why not. It's less of a waste of time than looking for a love that you'll never find (I promise, I'm not bitter). Go skydiving, get a tattoo, make a horrible investment in that broken down car that you're just *so sure* is the best deal ever. Don't worry about the judgment you might receive, you're in your 20s. This is basically normal. Who gives a damn? As long as you can handle the possible consequences, go for it. Do something you never dreamed of doing.

18. Come to terms with your past.

Forgive the ex that destroyed your trust or the old best friend who never really had your back. And if you can't find forgiveness, at least find some sort of acceptance. Let go of the past because it can't be changed. Don't let it dictate your future in a negative way. Learn from it, embrace it, and use it to your advantage in becoming a better person from it.

19. Get a dog (or a cat if you're one of *those*).

If you have the proper means to care for an animal, go get a dog or a cat. They can provide you with the companionship and love that you may otherwise be searching for in another person. It may be a good opportunity to fill that void, and practice some responsibility, too!

20. Sing and dance around in your underwear like a crazy person.

Completely let loose and have fun! When you're home alone, strip down, turn it up, and go wild. Watch yourself in the mirror and love what you see. Who doesn't love gettin' naked and belting out your favorite lyrics?

Bonus: If love happens to find you... Accept it!

Just because you aren't necessarily looking for love doesn't mean that you have to reject it. If someone happens to stumble into your life that you click with, don't fight it. Let it happen. Not looking for love doesn't mean you also have to be a cynical, anti-relationship, love-hater.

Cover Image Credit: http://rebloggy.com/post/love-photography-hair-girl-lights-night-city-dark-amazing-back-watching-looking/24769053521

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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4 Signs That You Might Be A Pushover In Your Relationship

There's a fine line between being considerate and overly-accommodating in a relationship, here are some signs to help you determine which side of the line you're on.

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While most of us consider ourselves independent individuals who are secure enough to maintain our own values while respecting someone else's, the difference between being flexible and completely bending to a romantic partner's will can be a slippery slope.

Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that everything the two of you disagree on suddenly disappears. There are times when you'll have to occasionally make concessions in order to reach a solution, but you should never be the one to relent every on every issue. If you're not sure about how you stand in your relationship here are few signs that you may be a dating pushover.

1. You let them set the pace of the relationship

It can be hard to know if things are moving at a normal speed, especially if you're new to relationships. If you feel like things are moving too quickly or like the two of you aren't on the same page and choose to ignore it because the other person is content with where you are, then you're not giving your own feelings enough consideration. A relationship is not just about one person's emotions, disregarding the ones you're unsure about to avoid making waves doesn't make you peacekeeper, it makes you a pushover.

2. Your lack of an opinion is replaced by theirs

It's okay not to have an opinion on every issue plaguing our society at the moment, but it's not okay to allow your partner to declare a stance for you. If you're having a conversation with friends and politics are being broached and your S/O prefaces their statement with "We think," -knowing darn well that you don't have anything to say about Trump's administration and they think he's the best thing since Netflix started streaming "Friends"- and you don't interject with your true feelings, then you've just let them know that their preferences are more important than yours.

3. You conform to the way they see you

People are multifaceted and complex beings. While Tinder may ask you to describe yourself by a handful of defining characteristics to better match you with a mate, you are more than just "quiet" and "indoorsy". If you find yourself with someone who reduces you to labels that complement them, chances are that the more you're around them the more you'll start to only identify yourself by those labels as well. When you conform to the 2-dimensional image that someone else has of you, you lose parts of your identity and become a social chameleon.

4. You alter your dreams to fit into theirs

It's exciting to picture your life with someone you care and are serious about. Of course, you have to make some configurations in order for things to work for the both of you, but there has to be an equal amount of compromise for it to be healthy. If you're working towards a degree that would open doors for you to meet new people and have new experiences but your S/O has dreams to get settled sooner rather than later and makes you feel like you're overreaching in your life, don't abandon your vision for something that would fit into theirs.

Being a pushover does not mean you're a weak person. I don't think anyone sets out with the intent to be a chameleon dater. Sometimes it happens gradually, two people start off in a relationship thinking that they're compatible and then one person grows more comfortable and their will and opinions turn out to be stronger than the other persons'. Other times, you just make a poor judgment call and try to make things work with someone that wasn't meant for you.

If you find yourself to be a pushover in your relationship and you're unhappy about it, you can change. Take some time to learn about yourself and figure out what you want and who you want to be. You can't choose someone who really loves you and values your mind if you don't know how you need to be loved and understood. Whether you need a to step away from the dating scene, have a conversation with your romantic partner or even take a break from them, understanding yourself will strengthen all of your relationships in the long run.

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