Other than the dining hall food, the number one complaint on SIUC's campus is pretty obvious: RezNet. To be fair, it's not just the dormitory WiFi that sucks; really, every network on campus is pretty terrible. RezNet seems to just take the brunt of the criticism. Because I know we've all had our run-ins with this terribly under-prepared network, whether it be trying to access online homework, playing Destiny, or watching Netflix, I think the student population would both relate to and appreciate this list exposing its true slowness and unreliability.

RezNet is most definitely slower than:

1. The line for SideTrax at 12:30 a.m. on any given Saturday night

And the walk back after the bar closes and all of your drunk friends keep getting lost.

2. The period between paychecks

3. Financial Aid refunds

4. The amount of time you sit in the waiting room at the doctor's office before actually getting sent back

5. A Model T

(I'm honestly not sure how fast these go, but it works.)

6. Taxes

7. The formation of a star

8. Standard 8-10 day shipping

9. How long it takes for pizza to cool off enough to not burn the roof of your mouth

10. Windows 95

And it is absolutely less reliable than:

1. The brakes on the Saluki Express

And the chance that they'll get you to class on time. Speaking of which...

2. Amtrak being less than an hour late

3. Printers

4. Carbondale weather

43 in the morning to 85 in the afternoon, with enough wind to compete with Chicago for the title of "The Windy City."

5. The chance of Spiderman actually saving Gwen Stacey in "The Amazing Spider Man 2"

6. Trying to cram for your physics exam an hour before it starts

"It's just a bunch of equations. I got this."

7. When characters in horror movies yell out "who's there?" in the dark after they hear strange noises

It's the killer! Don't do it! Don't do it! You're dumb. You are going to die.

8. Navigating through Faner without getting lost

9. Trueblood food

10. The narration of "Gone Girl"

Who am I supposed to be angry at here?

RezNet, even with as much resentment you face, you could probably be worse. It's just that, you know, as of right now, you're pretty outdated. You're just not prepared for all the cellphones, tablets, laptops, and gaming systems that students burden you with. I'm sorry. However, this is a serious issue: with education (college especially) leaning more toward being technology-based than anything else, students need a reliable way to access resources to complete their schoolwork. And with SIU using tablets to lure students in, shouldn't they be able to use them?