In honor of my turning 20, I decided to reflect upon my life thus far, from my childhood through adolescence, and try to piece together my growth. I've been thinking a lot about how I'll never be able to use the phrase "oh, I was just a stupid teenager" again (not that I ever did use it before), and that I'll actually have to grow up.

But then I excitedly think, with the enthusiasm of a child, “Wait − I actually am kind of grown up!” Kind of. And yes, “child” and “grown up” were both purposefully placed in that sentence. Here are 20 instances of what I have come to classify as moments when you realize you are an adult.

1.) You buy your own toilet paper.

Yes, it sounds simple enough, but when you are an actual adult you will be buying your own necessary personal hygiene and household products, and if you forget to replace them before they’re gone then sometimes you will find yourself sh*t out of luck…

2.) Your mom no longer checks in with you every time you go out to see where you are, who you’re with, and when you’ll be home.

Not every time, but still sometimes. This will most likely continue for the rest of your life. Instead of being annoyed, you now you realize it is really sweet and you know that it is just because she cares so much.

3.) You eat broccoli.

Maybe you were one of those odd children who actually liked broccoli, but I know I was not. When you actually go to the grocery store and buy broccoli for yourself (of your own accord) you are making a pretty large step into adulthood.

4.) You realize that children’s novels aren’t just for children.

Sure, you enjoy some hard-hitting investigative journalism, but you also realize that reading your favorite children’s novel for the fourth time is not a sin. If you’re really adult-like, you might even risk reading it in a public place (gasp!)

5.) You know how to work a washing machine, dryer, stove top, oven, and dishwasher, and you use all of these appliances without being asked, without catching your house on fire, and without filling your kitchen or basement with water and bubbles.

I feel like that one is pretty straightforward…

6.) You realize how much food costs, and you take advantage of all circumstances in which you could possibly obtain free food.

This includes but is not limited to: club meetings on your college campus, religious ceremonies (not even necessarily of your own faith), weddings that you were not invited to, and dumpsters. Okay, hopefully not those last three, but seriously, club meetings on campus! Pizza and cookies galore!

7.) You’ve learned that coloring is actually a good and cheap form of therapy.

As are Netflix, Skyping your best friend for three hours, and crying.

8.) You break some rules.

Then you get caught, fined, and or sent to jail. Maybe not that extreme. Maybe you just go against some social norms. Singing Christmas carols in July? Heck yes!

9.) You use proper silverware.

The days of being very adamant about cutting that piece of chicken with just your fork are over. You have now succumbed to using the knife as well.

10.) You have come to see the usefulness of making lists, reading lists, and even thinking in the form of lists.

With your often busy and hectic life you enjoy the brevity of lists and the amount of important information they can hold. Sometimes lists will annoy you, though, when they get too long or seem to suddenly change subjects−like this one is about to…

11.) You realize the humor in numbers 1-10 but also realize the amount of truth they hold.

You also realize though that they are a bit childish and that you have learned so much more about being an adult than can be summed up by jokes alone. You have also come to be aware of how much numbers 12-20 have come to shape you as an individual and how you are not just always kind of an adult. Sometimes you really are one.

12.) You learn to forgive.

Life is too short to hold grudges. You now opt to be friends with people who you think are genuine and considerate and who will not hurt you. If they do though, you tell them so. You discuss your issues. You then forgive them. You don’t need an apology. If they are a true friend you will repair the broken bonds, and if not you two will slowly drift apart.

13.) You realize that money does not buy happiness, but that it can help.

You may find yourself thinking more about your financial situation in general. You may realize that you do not need a vacation to Hawaii, but that a weekend spent a couple of hours away from home with your significant other may be just as fulfilling. You may also realize how spending a few dollars on a pack of Tide to Go pens will not only save dozens of articles of clothing you thought were utterly ruined by spills, but also make you so happy in the process.

14.) You fall in love and know that it may not last forever, but that it is a learning experience nonetheless.

You meet that special someone and realize that you’re still so young and that, while things are perfect now, they may be shaken up in an instant. Your significant other may move out of state, attend grad school, or have different plans for their future than you. You struggle at first but eventually make peace with this, and you realize that you do not always have control. You must enjoy this love while it lasts. You’ll always have the memories, and you don’t want the present to be blurred with worries about the future.

15.) You know you can do anything you want, but you can’t do everything.

You can do just about anything you set your mind to, but you realize that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that you want or sometimes even need to do. That is okay. You do not let this deter you. Instead of getting frustrated that you did not make it to yoga last week or that you have not been keeping up on your Spanish, you think of all that you have accomplished and all that you still can do.

16.) You realize the complexities of the world, of people, and of yourself. It all seems so contradictory at times, but you do not lose hope.

You see that there is contradiction is just about everything and everyone. There are multiple layers and sometimes you have to peel back quite a few of them before you can get to the heart of the matter, before you can get to know someone, and before you can become comfortable with yourself. You realize this discomfort is inherent in each and every one of us, but that some people let it overtake them. You are not letting it do that to you. You embrace the contradictions and uncertainty and search for the truth.

17.) You find yourself in a foreign country where you do not speak the language and wonder how you could possibly be there without your mother.

No? Maybe that one is just me. But really, traveling and exploring the world can make you feel very grown up, yet so young at heart. A pretty great combination. Making your own itinerary and dealing with foreign language, currency, and transportation can all be a little overwhelming. Instead of worrying about the details you try to see and do as much as you can, and you come home with a little bit of a new perspective on life as you once knew it.

18.) You see now that the days are long but the years are short.

Your eight hour work day may seem to last an eternity; you may think that birthday party for an extended family member could not end sooner, but then you realize how fast these things go by. You realize that you did not get to properly revel in the completion of your project at work, and you wish you would have spent more time socializing with family than sitting around eating all the potato chips. You realize the importance of the small things and try to be more present.

19.) You realize that in some ways you will always yearn for the simplicities of childhood.

But then you look around at the life that you have created for yourself and you realize that even though it can be hard sometimes, with so much independence and responsibility, you would not trade it for the world.

20.) You are generally pretty happy and choose to be so.

This one can be the hardest to reach on this whole list. Some people work their whole lives to achieve it, and I’m still working on this, but it is very important to being an adult. You realize the worth of yourself and of your own happiness, and that in order to help others and to make a difference you first need to be happy yourself. You deserve it. Don’t work your whole life to get there. Choose happiness now.

There are 20 instances of young adulthood that I feel perfectly encapsulate what it means to turn 20. An age of fun and joking, but an age of serious growth and development, where you come to really know yourself and have a more solid concept of your identity.

While you are no longer a teen, you are not quite as grown up as you will be one day, and you’re getting there. You know the importance of laughter and the importance of a hard day’s work. You revel in the little things and think of the bigger picture, too. You are young and alive and willing to see and learn and do so much. As you enter into the 20 instances of older adulthood do not lose that spirit. Yes, it’s difficult growing up, but we all have to do it sometime, so why not make the best of it?