With my nineteenth birthday being on the nineteenth, I really wanted to share nineteen of the most important lessons I learned by nineteen! (Wow that's a mouthful!)

1. People do not always have the same heart as you

You will end up really disappointed if you think people will do the same for you as you will do for them, but you should never stop being who you are. People will hurt you, but the people that take advantage of you will eventually get what’s coming and you will find people who care about you as much as you care about them.

It took me a long time to realize that it is not a flaw to have a big heart.

2. It is okay to fail

Failure is inevitable and fearing it only takes away from your happiness. Take risks and do at least one thing that scares you every day, so that when you do succeed, it will feel incredible—and hey, even if you don’t succeed, failure always beats never trying.

3. Some doors close so another one can open

A lot of times things happen to us that we can’t make sense out of. Sometimes, you just have to throw it in the "I don't know" pile and move forward. Don’t get too caught up in connecting all of the dots today—you will figure it out soon enough.

I bet looking back now, you can think of at least one time when something happened that you thought was the end of the world, but without it you wouldn't be exactly who you are or where you are today.

4. Be kind always

Everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. Just one word can make or break a person, save or kill a person. Be the one who makes the day the a little brighter for someone in a dark place.

5. What you think of yourself is way more important than what others think of you

Honestly, what you think of yourself is all that matters. Everybody has an opinion about how you should look or what you should do, but at the end of the day their opinion is really only a suggestion and you get the choice to take it or leave it.

6. You can’t please everyone

Life is way too short to spend it living out the expectations of others. This is your journey, not theirs.

7. Don’t go through life being angry

Things change, people leave, but instead of focusing on the ones who leave, focus on the ones who love you and the ones who help you grow. If you only focus on the ones who leave and spend all of your energy being angry at them or trying to make them come back, you will end up exhausted and feeling very lonely.

8. Love is more than a feeling; it is a choice

In the beginning, love is euphoric and spontaneous, but eventually the honeymoon stage comes to an end. Here, we have the choice to see the good in our partner—to be forgiving and be supportive or to let them go. Falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes hard work.

9. Throw dance parties for yourself

Literally dance everything out. Going through a break up? Dance it out. Failed a test? Dance it out. Got the job you wanted? Dance it out. Got out of bed today? Dance it out. Throwing on some good music and throwing yourself around like a rag doll does so much good for the soul—sounds crazy, but just try it!

10. Stop waiting and start doing

Every time you say “I don’t have time,” replace it with “it’s not a priority,” because that is what you're really saying. Eye opening, right?

We all live busy lives and we devote our time to things that we make a priority. If you wait until it is easy or you “have time,” you will be waiting your whole life. Stop saying “I will do it tomorrow” and do it right now.

11. Change is good

Change is our main source of growth; no reason to resist it!

12. Compliment strangers

If you like someone's smile, tell them. If you like someone’s shirt, tell them. If you think someone is having a good hair day, tell them. You will be making a positive impact on someone’s day and there is no better feeling than that!

13. Admit when you are wrong

I lost a lot of friends because I was too stubborn to admit I was wrong and a few more because I would apologize for something that wasn't my fault. There's no shame in being wrong and never defeat in saying sorry.

Accepting when you are wrong is a necessary healing process for both people involved.

14. Don't compare yourself to others

There is always someone who is better looking, someone who has more money, or someone who seems to have a better relationship. Do not waste energy on comparing yourself to others because you will always, always, always end up disappointed. Focus on being the best version of yourself.

15. Fitting in is highly overrated

Be you, enough said.

16. The best things in life are free

Hugs, friends, family, loving, being loved, smiling, going outside, listening to music, it’s all free! Do as many of these things as possible to reach extreme happiness.

17. Your thoughts have the ability to shape your reality

As someone who has experienced severe depression and anxiety, I learned this one the hard way. My depression and anxiety tell me that they do not love me and do not want to be around me, so I often isolate myself or pull away.

While thoughts like these can be extremely hard to control, especially when you have a mental illness, we have to do everything in our power to make them positive ones. What people say or do has very little impact on your day compared to what you convince yourself of. You shape your reality, so make it a good one.

18. Laugh at yourself

Sometimes, it's just hard to know what to do in the moment—and then when you look back, it seems obvious, but hindsight is always 20/20. Have the ability to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake.

We all do it—it's part of being human! If you’re too hard on yourself you will not only take away from your own happiness but the happiness of those around you too. Don’t take life too seriously; it's supposed to be fun!

19. You are awesome

You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. If you have trouble seeing how great you are, start writing down at least one thing a day that you feel proud of. It can be something so small—when I first started doing this, I sometimes only wrote “I got out of bed today.”

But then that turned into “I went to class today,” then “I aced a test today,” and eventually it turned into “I am strong.” When you take time to recognize how much you accomplish, it’s hard not to feel proud of who you are.