What 18 means
Life Stages

18 years of getting to know myself

I don't know it all, but I know something and that's the most important thing

18 years of getting to know myself
Personal Photo

As of last week, I have officially become a legal adult. That's Right! Your girl is eighteen, and that means that I don't have to sit at the little kids table anymore. It's funny because I still look 12; at least that's what almost all my family and family friends say...ALL the time. If I wanted to buy a ticket to a scary movie they'd probably ask for proof of age, but hey I can still buy it.

Even though, if we're being completely honest, I'd probably use my young looking face to get a discount at the movies to see Incredibles 2. That's just what mature adults like me do, we go see movies meant for little kids. I have no shame. Also, I now can officially vote, which is super important to me.

To be honest, I was so excited to be able to vote. I registered early with my friend Jordan. We both registered at a march rally, but that's a story for another time.

There are a lot of things that I have learned about myself in my 18 years of life. Some of the lessons I've learned are simple and silly, while others have created milestones for me.

Moments like those are the ones that I hold close to my heart. Obviously I have a lot to learn and experience, but so far I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned how the same things that amused me when I was younger no longer amuse me now.

I have gained a liking for solitude and calmness. If any of you knew me when I was younger, I was loud...really loud. I was a tomboy and very opinionated, but at the same time very self-conscious. It took awhile for me to be comfortable in my own skin, but I am so glad that I went through the process. I am more confident in myself because I've grown up so much every day.

My freshman year I absolutely despised dresses, I despised them so much that I vowed I'd never wear them. Somehow some of my friends remembered me saying that, they like to make jokes about it now because I definitely dress a lot more girly than I did when I was fourteen. I also learned how to be more confident in myself and in the things I do.

If you told me when I was younger that I would win the Best Youth Feature Film at the Newark International Film Festival, I would have said that you were lying. Lying for at least two reasons. The first being because I wasn't confident in my film skills, and the second is because I didn't even want to be a filmmaker when I was younger.

I know it's weird to write "when I was younger" because I'm still young, but for the purpose of this article let's pretend I'm some wise dude who knows the meaning of life. Well the meaning of life is a little extreme so let's say the meaning of my life. In my life I have become more confident, healthy, and trusting, but I have also learned to let stuff go.

There were times where I was self-conscious because people didn't like me. I used to actually care about what people thought of me (who knows why). It was hard. When you hear people talk about you behind your back it hurts.

I used to trust a lot of people and just get hurt in return. But, I have a big heart for a reason and I know who I am and who I want to be. No one else can change that. As I mature, I realize I would prefer a small circle full of people who care and love just as much as me.

I realized that I don't need to go or be invited to parties to have fun. I actually don't really like parties in the first place. My birthday was just my family and I eating at a dinner for breakfast. I like sitting in my room with a good book, blasting my music playlists, and I like to sing off-key and dance like a lunatic.

I like to be in my own company, and that's never happened before. I can sit and watch my favorite YouTuber for hours without getting bored, because she likes to promote self love and girl supporting girls (Go Adelangels!). I like making TV references that no one understands except for my mutuals on Twitter. I know that I like to create stories, but I struggle to put them on paper.

I have so many screenplays and stories in my head, who knows if they'll ever make it to the paper. I'm an old soul, at least that's what Ms. Charles tells me. I like my record player and my Polaroid a little too much in her opinion. I sometimes blast my Aretha Franklin vinyl on repeat because it's a classic.

I like to sleep a lot and my mom hates that, but when I work I make sure that I get the job done. I'm an adrenaline junkie when I go to amusement parks, but I'm still scared when I go on a ride I've been on 20 times.

I make mistakes a lot and I know that, I'm just glad I can work on myself. The fact is that no one is perfect because we are all trying to find ourselves and our identities, and until we do we don't really have all the wisdom we need.

I learn something new everyday! Did you know that Jocophobia is the fear of having fun? That sounds pretty sad to me. That was a random way to end this but hey, I'm learning

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Some people are so good at downplaying their sadness that even they don't realize how much they do it. When you ask them how they are they will always say that they are good, even when they aren't. They exhaust themselves by plastering an energetic and carefree persona in the spaces that you watch them in because at least to you they can control how they appear. They can pretend to be the happy person they want to be when everyone is telling them how funny and bubbly they are all the time.

Keep Reading... Show less

Mental health is not an easy endeavor. It's not a fad. It's not a bandwagon that you can hop on and off of whenever you want to. Your yearly dose of sadness is not depression. I'm not here to define what depression — or anxiety, or any other type of mental health issue looks like — but I will tell you what it's not.

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Sonnie Hiles on Unsplash

Whether it's dealing with a global pandemic or getting fired from your job, the fear of not knowing can become consuming if it isn't controlled. Below are some easy ways to take back control and establish a peace of mind.

Keep Reading... Show less

My South Asian Roots Inspire My Future Career As Both A Scientist And Journalist — Here's How

Being born to culturally diverse parents, I feel like I have the best of both worlds!

Erikka Chowdhury

To all of those who don't know me, I'm an American girl with South Asian parents who have carved their own niche as immigrants in the USA.

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Samuel Branch on Unsplash

Affirmations affirm beliefs that we are in need of strengthening. They help up to focus on goals that we are striving for or on a powerful part of ourselves that we need a little reminder is within us.

They specifically focus on positive outcomes or belief systems that we're working to solidify, rather than solely focusing action on eradicating something "bad" or "wrong" from your life.

Keep Reading... Show less

About a year ago, I began my own fitness journey. Growing up, I had played soccer and kept busy, but after an injury cut my soccer career short I suddenly became very inactive. It took years of misfires before I finally found a new active passion for weight lifting. Getting started is never easy, and setting up for success is the best plan of action to assist anyone in your life who is thinking about starting their own journey. These are a few items you can gift for the fitness rookie in your life:

Keep Reading... Show less

I oftentimes (excessively) use the excuse of my job as a writer to justify my excessive spending habits.

I needed the new Huda Beauty palette before anyone else in the name of journalistic integrity. It was my job to test out the new Francis Kurkdjian fragrance to make sure I could tell people whether or not it was truly worth the splurge (it was).

Keep Reading... Show less

The beaches are starting to open up. At least in Cape Cod, where my family and I were able to vacation this week. Near our house, we have a bit of a private beach, which is great.

Keep Reading... Show less

I sometimes look back at the days when I had anorexia and think to myself what would have happened if I had taken another bite? Nowadays, I spend days dreading over my figure and wondering if the old sundresses and outfits even fit. I tell myself that they do, but I feel like reality holds a different truth.

Keep Reading... Show less

I remember the days where closet drinking before going to a party or bar was part of the night's itinerary. It was a requirement to have a good buzz flowing before calling the Uber to take you to that bar where you see everyone from your high school at. The pregames were the best part of the night, but it wasn't ever because of the alcohol, it was because of the atmosphere and those who were in it. The number of times I've heard "Wait, why aren't you drinking tonight? C'mon, get drunk with us" is endless, but think about it. Where were you when you were asked that? You were at the goddamn pregame and being there doesn't mean you need to be ripping shots. Being social doesn't require alcohol.

I asked 20 people how they cut back on alcohol while still being social.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments