As of last week, I have officially become a legal adult. That's Right! Your girl is eighteen, and that means that I don't have to sit at the little kids table anymore. It's funny because I still look 12; at least that's what almost all my family and family friends say...ALL the time. If I wanted to buy a ticket to a scary movie they'd probably ask for proof of age, but hey I can still buy it.
Even though, if we're being completely honest, I'd probably use my young looking face to get a discount at the movies to see Incredibles 2. That's just what mature adults like me do, we go see movies meant for little kids. I have no shame. Also, I now can officially vote, which is super important to me.
To be honest, I was so excited to be able to vote. I registered early with my friend Jordan. We both registered at a march rally, but that's a story for another time.
There are a lot of things that I have learned about myself in my 18 years of life. Some of the lessons I've learned are simple and silly, while others have created milestones for me.
Moments like those are the ones that I hold close to my heart. Obviously I have a lot to learn and experience, but so far I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned how the same things that amused me when I was younger no longer amuse me now.
I have gained a liking for solitude and calmness. If any of you knew me when I was younger, I was loud...really loud. I was a tomboy and very opinionated, but at the same time very self-conscious. It took awhile for me to be comfortable in my own skin, but I am so glad that I went through the process. I am more confident in myself because I've grown up so much every day.
My freshman year I absolutely despised dresses, I despised them so much that I vowed I'd never wear them. Somehow some of my friends remembered me saying that, they like to make jokes about it now because I definitely dress a lot more girly than I did when I was fourteen. I also learned how to be more confident in myself and in the things I do.
If you told me when I was younger that I would win the Best Youth Feature Film at the Newark International Film Festival, I would have said that you were lying. Lying for at least two reasons. The first being because I wasn't confident in my film skills, and the second is because I didn't even want to be a filmmaker when I was younger.
I know it's weird to write "when I was younger" because I'm still young, but for the purpose of this article let's pretend I'm some wise dude who knows the meaning of life. Well the meaning of life is a little extreme so let's say the meaning of my life. In my life I have become more confident, healthy, and trusting, but I have also learned to let stuff go.
There were times where I was self-conscious because people didn't like me. I used to actually care about what people thought of me (who knows why). It was hard. When you hear people talk about you behind your back it hurts.
I used to trust a lot of people and just get hurt in return. But, I have a big heart for a reason and I know who I am and who I want to be. No one else can change that. As I mature, I realize I would prefer a small circle full of people who care and love just as much as me.
I realized that I don't need to go or be invited to parties to have fun. I actually don't really like parties in the first place. My birthday was just my family and I eating at a dinner for breakfast. I like sitting in my room with a good book, blasting my music playlists, and I like to sing off-key and dance like a lunatic.
I like to be in my own company, and that's never happened before. I can sit and watch my favorite YouTuber for hours without getting bored, because she likes to promote self love and girl supporting girls (Go Adelangels!). I like making TV references that no one understands except for my mutuals on Twitter. I know that I like to create stories, but I struggle to put them on paper.
I have so many screenplays and stories in my head, who knows if they'll ever make it to the paper. I'm an old soul, at least that's what Ms. Charles tells me. I like my record player and my Polaroid a little too much in her opinion. I sometimes blast my Aretha Franklin vinyl on repeat because it's a classic.
I like to sleep a lot and my mom hates that, but when I work I make sure that I get the job done. I'm an adrenaline junkie when I go to amusement parks, but I'm still scared when I go on a ride I've been on 20 times.
I make mistakes a lot and I know that, I'm just glad I can work on myself. The fact is that no one is perfect because we are all trying to find ourselves and our identities, and until we do we don't really have all the wisdom we need.
I learn something new everyday! Did you know that Jocophobia is the fear of having fun? That sounds pretty sad to me. That was a random way to end this but hey, I'm learning