To the 18-year-old me:

If I could go back in time and talk to the 18-year-old me, I would have a lot to say to her. One of the main things that I would stress to the 18-year-old me is to never stop following your dreams no matter how many people tell you that you can’t do something and you also won’t succeed at it. I would tell that version of me to stop over-thinking every little thing that comes her way, whether it has a positive or negative impact on her life. I would tell this version of me that life goes on.

When I was 18 years old I used to question a lot of events in my life and I would ask myself “why is this happening to ME?” instead of accepting what has happened and moving forward with it. I was at the end of my high school career, preparing myself for the next chapter in my life. I wanted to let go of all the negative things that were happening and I wanted to move on. I wanted to let these things behind me and never go back to them. I never wanted to feel the way I was feeling at that time ever again. I wanted my fake smile to be a real smile. I wanted to leave, and I wanted to go far away from home. Little did 18-year-old me know, this is not what solves problems. Running away from your problems will never solve them, and you need to confront those problems and do what you can to communicate with others and fix those problems. I wish I could have told her this.

I wish I could tell high school senior me that it was okay to be wrong sometimes and it was also okay to be sad. I would tell her that the pain that she is going through now in life is going to be worth it later. I would go and tell 18-year-old me to stand up for herself and be proud of the person that she is, rather than wishing she was something that she is not. I would tell her that she is beautiful and that someone will be lucky enough to be with her and love her the way that she deserves to be loved. I would tell her that friends come and go, and the real friends in life are the ones that stick around through thick and thin.

Little did 18-year-old me know, 21-year-old me is happy. 21-year-old me is living on her own in a beautiful house with an amazing and loving fiancé in Hawai’i with an amazing pug named Gerald. I don’t think that 18-year-old me would ever believe that 21-year-old me has friends and family who love and support her and best friends for life. I wish 18-year-old me could have slowed down and enjoyed her life before it changed (for the better) and knew that it took more than a tattoo or a night out to have the pain go away. You are an awesome friend and an awesome person, and I wish I could have told you that and made sure you believed me. You WILL be happy with your decisions, and you WILL be happy and love yourself for who you are. You need to be honest and stand up for yourself and do what makes YOU happy.