Being pale is... well, a struggle. Being born with translucent skin comes with its own set of odd struggles that simply only we can understand. I don't mean to complain, but I mean, come on! These can be seriously annoying.
1. The sun is your mortal enemy.
The beach sounds great until you realize you will spend 20 minutes of applying sunblock, get too hot because you're wearing a long sleeve, your hair will stick to your head under your hat, the umbrella is really heavy and sunblock acts like glue for sand. If you're lucky, you won't get burned even though you took every precaution.
2. You CANNOT take photos with a flash.
This is just asking to scare your Instagram followers.
3. Old women grab your face.
"Oh what lovely skin you have, young lady."
4. Your face doesn't show up in selfies half of the time.
I swear I have a nose even though the camera cannot recognize it.
5. People ask you if you are sick when you don't wear makeup.
Bitch, please. My skin is one shade darker than translucent. If your skin was this light, your dark circles would look black too.
6. It is nearly impossible to find a foundation that doesn't make you look orange.
I have spent years looking like Donald Trump before I discovered that foundation for pale girls exists.
7. You find yourself asking your roommates if you put on enough blush.
I am trying to counteract the vampire look.
8. You develop freckles at an alarming rate.
Sometimes you get concerned that you will end up just one giant freckle.
9. You are tired of people telling you that you could use some sun.
Thanks for recommending skin cancer, you bozo.
10. Not all sunblock is trustworthy.
Finding the brand that you can always rely on is a daunting task but worth it in the end.
11. You're haunted by all the times your parents made you wear a long sleeve shirt in the dead of summer.
Some people will never understand how hard it is to swim in a t-shirt.
12. You get called a porcelain doll.
Which is OK... I guess.
13. You also get called a vampire.
No. I’m not wearing a Halloween costume.
14. And Casper...
Very clever, guys. Never heard that one before.
15. Really the jokes are relentless.
Hopefully, your friends will start to get clever with them because they are getting old.
