16 Things Millennials Are Killing | The Odyssey Online
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16 Things Millennials Are Killing

Because soap and marriage are SO overrated.

Arianna Zakrzewski
Jun 11, 2017
Rhode Island College
495
16 Things Millennials Are Killing
Boss Magazine

Millennials get a lot of hate.

Like, a lot of hate. Unneccessary amounts of hate. We are deemed the generation of the "participation trophy," the group demanding the most handouts, for the world to bow down at our feet...

Except that's literally not the case at all. Most millennials just want a fair shot at life. We just want a living wage, a decent place to live, and to be treated with the same amount of respect we're expected to show the generations before us. We just want to be treated like human beings.

But that doesn't stop nearly everyone over the age of 35 from complaining about us. Sometimes it can be frustrating, but most times it's pretty comical. Here are 16 things millennials have allegedly killed, as seen in (fairly) recent news headlines:

1. We're killing napkins.

You heard it here first, kids. Screw napkins.


2. We're also killing golf.


3. You can take your department stores and screw, Martha.

Who needs Macy's anyways?


4. Apparently, more of us are choosing to pay rent than buy diamonds? Weird??



5. Not even soap is safe.


6. And fabric softener!



7. Oh, look. Now it's our fault why *no one* is taking vacations.

Listen, Chris, I literally just want to afford to live, if you don't go on vacation as much as you'd like that's your problem! I don't go on vacation as much as I'd like either but I'm too busy trying to pick up enough overtime to pay my car insurance this month to complain!


8. We hate vacations, but don't be fooled, we also hate the work force.

We just can't be happy, can we?


9. This just in: The American Dream is dead! Millennials killed it!!


10. But wait, we didn't stop at just the American Dream! We killed *America* too!


11. AND GREAT BRITAIN!

Because Brexit was totally all Millennials' faults.


12. And we like to kill trees.

Millennials just want to watch the world burn.


13. Millennials are also killing marriage.

I'm sure none of it has to do with how expensive weddings are, or the leftover trauma of all of our parents getting divorced, Gabriela.


14. We also think sex is lame!!

Orgasms are for old people!


15. You know what, let's just ruin love altogether guys.


16. You heard it here first, folks. Not even Buffalo Wild Wings is safe.

Truly nothing we once loved is safe.


Moral of the story: the world is changing and Baby Boomers will find any way they can to blame Millennials for how terrible everything is nowadays.

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