You know that person you see in class who constantly has a cup of coffee in their hand? Probably a coffee addict. A coffee addict is a person who can't imagine life, or even a day, without coffee, and you probably don't want to be around when that day comes. And when you meet one, you know.
1. You don't procrastinate, you procaffeinate, meaning you can't get anything done until you've had caffeine.
Is energy supposed to come naturally? No.
2. You've been outside 8:15 waiting when they unlock the door and open.
Sorry I look like a crazy coffee stalker.
3. Caffeine is the base of your food pyramid.
It's probably really unhealthy but whatever.
4. You can't go to class without getting coffee first.
If I'm late you know why. How am I expected to get participation points without having caffeine first?
5. Getting a headache is an excuse to just drink more caffeine.
I just need a coffee IV that would solve all of my problems.
6. You own enough mugs to supply everyone you know.
One for every day of the week? More like every day of the month.
7. If a normal person consumed the amount of caffeine you do on a daily basis, they would probably be so jittery it would terrify them.
I'm used to my hands being shaky by now. I swear I'm fine.
8. The only thing that gets you out of bed in the morning is thinking about that glorious first cup of the day.
We all just need an alarm clock that also brews coffee, am I right?
9. One cup is never enough.
Ten cups is never enough.
10. You go to Starbucks at least once, sometimes twice, a day.
They employees know your order like it's their own.
11. That being said, you're a Starbucks gold member.
The day you got that last precious star you were so happy you almost cried.
12. You're not about those fancy drinks that are not real coffee. Coffee is coffee, you don't need anything else in it.
I like to color coordinate my coffee with my clothes and my soul, actually. Black.
13. You know that a bad cup of coffee is still better than no cup of coffee.
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
14. The employees at the coffee shop you frequent know your order before you even say anything.
Sometimes you even order something new and realize they weren't listening when your name is called and it's your usual order.
15. You know that any kind of coffee that comes in a can is horrible.
Do you know how much sugar is in those things? Any sugar and sugar at all is too much.
16. You're just a college student.
Just let us live.